When you discovered that your partner cheated, it might have felt like an emotional bomb dropped.

Pieces of your heart, life, and future scattered everywhere.

Infidelity is no light matter. And it’s hard to know what to do or even how to feel after your partner betrayed you that way.

Be comforted in knowing that you will get through this difficult time. It’s during moments like these that the mantra “this too shall pass” comes in handy.

Directing your life after learning your partner cheated can be the most confusing.

Here is what you need to know.

Be Sure You Have All the Correct Information

Before placing your bets on rumors and hearsay, get the facts. Listening to another person tell you they saw your partner do this or that will no doubt cause a fire to light inside of you. You might even feel like spitting nails before they finish their story.

Remember, though, rumors and stories are simply rumors and stories.

Talk with your partner to get the whole truth. No, it’s not going to be fun to hear it from the mouth of the person with whom you share an intimate connection. But, it’s necessary.

You don’t need the gory details, but you need to know the facts.

Make Yourself a Priority by Sticking with Your Routine

The moments after learning your partner cheated can feel like the worst of your life. You might be experiencing a crushing sensation or even feel a heaviness descend upon your chest. It’s normal.

Although you might be tempted to do a complete overhaul of your routine to snap you out of the shock or deaden the pain, avoid this reaction. Stick to your daily routine as much as you can. Your priority in the next few days or weeks is to care for you.

Now might even be a good time to amp up your self-care routine. Spend some extra time on your morning jog or read for 30 minutes longer before bed. In other words, do what makes you feel cared for.

Give Yourself Time Before Making Long-Lasting Decisions 

Each person facing the infidelity dilemma has a unique reaction to it. While one might want to drive ten states away from their partner, another might want to cling to their partner for dear life.

There is a sensitive time frame that naturally follows the breaking news of infidelity. It’s important to cut yourself a serious break during this particular period.

Compare it with the way you treat yourself when you’re exhausted. If you’re like most people, you avoid making important decisions when you’re extremely fatigued. Also, emotions run rampant during moments of exhaustion.

The moments after learning your partner cheated are similar. Allow yourself some time before you make any decisions that will last a lifetime—mainly the question: “Do you stay or do you go?”

Understand That Their Infidelity is Not All About You

One of the hardest things for you to grasp after your partner cheated is likely that it wasn’t your fault. Whether you two were having relationship issues or not, the ultimate decision to engage in another relationship was theirs.

It wasn’t because you “weren’t good enough in bed” or that you “don’t make enough money” or whatever reasons you might conjure up. In fact, it wasn’t really about you at all.

The reasons your partner cheated might fill up an entire diary. Unsurprisingly, most of it will reflect weaknesses or past hurts within themselves.

Understandably, it’s hard for it to sink in that such an act of betrayal against you could be so little about you.

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Trying to understand and deal with the complicated emotions after your partner cheated can be all-consuming. If you’re looking for support and help navigating your own heart, please contact me. Together, we can approach the situation and determine the best path to healing for you.