These days, we have to deal with deep fakes, clickbait, and alternative facts. But none of these add up to more “fake news” than impostor syndrome. Do you ever feel like you secretly are a fraud? Have you convinced yourself that any success you’ve had is founded on luck or by a fluke? If so, you are probably be dealing with impostor syndrome.
Roughly 7 out of 10 people experience such feelings in their personal lives and careers. Many of them live in fear of being exposed. Fortunately, there are ways to deal with impostor syndrome once and for all.
Who Has Impostor Syndrome?
This phenomenon is common regardless of class, ethnicity, sex, age, or nationality. Impostor syndrome manifests in some familiar ways, e.g.
Solo Acts
Asking for help, they feel, will be proof of their fraudulence. So, they always go it alone.
Perfectionists
For them, it’s all or nothing. When perfection is the goal, no matter how well they do, the result will always be “nothing.”
Procrastinators
This is a less obvious variation. The procrastinator will do nothing — apply for a job, ask out their crush, go out for the team, etc. — until they know ALL the details. Rather than “looking stupid” by taking a chance, they keep waiting for the “right time.”
“Type A”
A casual scroll down any social media news feed will produce dozens of people providing evidence for how hard they work. Like the perfectionists, even 99 percent is not enough.
The Impact of Impostor Syndrome
- Anxiety and stress: living your life as if you are under a magnifying glass is exhausting.
- Holding you back: fear of failure (typically disguised as perfectionism) will deter you from trying new ventures and having more fun.
- Keeping you out of the spotlight: holding back becomes a habit. Impostor syndrome convinces you to keep your gifts to yourself for fear of possible ridicule.
- Reduced self-esteem: downplaying your accomplishments takes a cumulative toll.
- More life struggles: impostor syndrome can decrease your opportunity for financial success, reduce the chance for fulfilling relationships, and create a less positive outlook toward life.
5 Tips to Deal with Impostor Syndrome Once and for All
1. Observe and Identify Your Thoughts
The measures you take to hide your impostor syndrome — from yourself and others — often appear logical. So, it’s important to do the work to closely examine your actions and your motivations. This is not about self-blame. It’s your chance to recognize patterns that are sabotaging your quality of life.
2. Re-Write Your Rules
It might be “never ask for help.” Perhaps it’s “failure is not an option” or “I can’t let them know that I’m a fraud.” Identify your current counterproductive rules and re-write your personal script.
3. Tell Trusted Contacts How You Feel
Letting others know will give them a chance to support you. Their positive assessments of you will also serve as a needed reminder of just how valuable you are.
4. Keep a Gratitude/Success Journal and Celebrate the Victories
Don’t let any accomplishments go unnoticed. Write them all down and get used to patting yourself on the back for any measure of success. It will help you see past the all-or-nothing agenda of your inner critic.
5. Sometimes “Fake It ‘Til You Make It” Works
Spoiler alert: Each one of us fakes it until we make it (or not) at points in our lives. Find an instance where you can take a risk and see what it feels like. Regardless of the outcome, be kind to yourself and permit yourself to simply learn from the experience.
Finally, working with a therapist can help you unearth the underlying causes of impostor syndrome. It’s also an excellent way to challenge the “don’t ask for help” rule. Please read more about anxiety treatment and reach out today for a consultation.
