Many couples will face the awful reality of divorce. But that moment didn’t just suddenly spring on them, it was years in the making. Usually, there is a pattern of behavior stretching back for a long time. Eventually, it gets to a point where the situation is no longer tenable.

But what exactly brings couples to divorce? Can divorce be predicted and even avoided?

Being aware of the predictors of divorce can help. By themselves, these variables seem fairly common and controllable. But together, they form a powerful, negative influence. Knowing these key factors prior to divorce makes it possible to learn from the mistakes of others and take a different path.

Here are seven predictors to watch out for in order to avoid a divorce.

1. Trust Does Not Exist

Let’s start with the most fundamental element of any relationship: trust. If you don’t trust your partner, then it’s very hard for any relationship to succeed, let alone last.

The reason is simple. When you do trust your partner (and they trust you) that forms a bond between you. That bond only develops over time and with consistent behaviors. For instance, your partner says that they will get a certain task done, and they follow through.

When those behaviors don’t exist, neither does trust. This is why a lack of trust is one of the most important predictors for divorce.

2. Failing to Resolve Disputes

Another one of the predictors of divorce is the inability to resolve disputes. Successful couples have a knack for resolving conflict. They know that when there is a disagreement between them, they can make things right.

These couples have learned how to identify disputes and come to an agreement that resolves the conflict. That means that each partner spends less time focusing on their difference and more time on what they have in common.

3. No Attention Is Given to the Relationship

Modern couples have very busy lives. Work and raising the kids can take up a lot of attention. However, when one partner doesn’t put in any investment into the relationship, both suffer.

For example, your partner is completely devoted to the kids. So are you, but there’s a difference. You also want to spend time with just your partner. But your partner is so focused on the children that they don’t make room for anything or anyone else. And that includes you.

4. Not Owning Your Mistakes

Even mature adults have trouble taking ownership of their mistakes. It’s not always easy to confess to mistakes or flaws that you would rather not consider. Yet, by not doing so you are undermining your connection.

By owning your mistakes, and then taking steps to fix those mistakes, you build so much goodwill and trust with your partner. Your relationship will struggle though if you make no attempt to do this important work.

5. Wanting Your Partner to “Complete” You

Too often people desire a partner who “completes” them. This implies that their partner should be somebody who fits neatly into the picture of their life. Just like two pieces in a jigsaw puzzle.

But that isn’t reality. Everybody is a unique individual, and they are more likely to push back when expected to fit into a particular mold. Instead, why not accept your partner for the individual that they are?

6. Blaming Each Other for Problems

A sure-fire predictor for divorce is when you blame your partner for all the problems in your relationship, all the time. Who wants to be with someone they feel is a problem? Or, who wants to be with someone that considers them to be a problem?

Nobody likes being labeled this way. And, in reality, relationship problems are never just the fault of just one person; it’s a two-way street.

7. An Inability to Compromise

Relationships are all about compromise. It’s the only path forward when two people with all their differences want to pull in the same direction.

Unfortunately, today’s culture has made compromise a dirty word. This has trickled down to relationships as well. Everyone is so focused on being “right.” And they never truly learn how to find agreement and common ground.

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As mentioned above, these predictors of divorce should not be shocking revelations. But they ought to give you pause. In order to avoid divorce, it will help to understand these key factors prior to going down the path of divorce.

Maybe you’ve noticed that you have the aforementioned problems in your relationship, but you don’t know exactly how to address them. I would like to invite you to contact me to find out how couples counseling could help.