It’s no secret that sometimes maintaining a connected relationship can feel difficult. That’s because it is. The advice couples receive like, “communicate often,” and, “make time for each other every day,” sounds fairly simple. But most couples are time-poor, burnout from work or home, and just plain tired. 

This is all very human, and the good news is, you can still connect with one another every day even with these low energy levels. Building ritual into your day as a couple is a great way to up your connection. These rituals strengthen your bond, build your connection and compassion, and help you stay in love even in stressful times. 

Connecting with our partners is an extremely important part of maintaining a healthy relationship. Here are some ways you can do this every day:

1. Coffee with A.M. Cuddles

Make it a point to wake up a little earlier than needed so you and your partner can have coffee together. Some couples love doing this in bed. Turn on the coffee pot, crawl back into bed for fifteen minutes, then enjoy a tasty drink with each other while you prepare for your day. 

Cuddling for a few minutes at the start of your day will give you both a nice boost of feel-good brain chemicals. You can start your day with some dopamine, the happy hormone, and some oxytocin, the bonding hormone. That oxytocin also helps your brain bond with your partner. 

2. Cook Together 

Cooking breakfast together is a good opportunity to spend an extra few minutes with one another each morning. This is especially true for couples with kiddos. Whip up some bacon and eggs for yourself and the kids, and if you can, make the kitchen a Mom and Dad Only place for the morning cooking. 

If breakfast cooking is a struggle time for your family, maybe it would be better to make this a P.M. ritual. You can cook dinner together or one of you can cook while the other cleans (at the same time). This ritual is fun to couple with learning something new. Pick a cuisine you both love and learn how to make it together. 

3. Bedtime Tea & Pillow Gazing 

Create a ritual where you sit up in bed together, drinking a cup of calming tea. There are a lot of great options, like sleepy time teas, lavender, and chamomile. Use this time to decompress from your day, express gratitude for one another, and have some screen-free time before bed. 

Look into one another’s eyes while you focus on softening your gaze, unclenching your jaw, and relaxing your muscles before falling asleep. This can help increase your quality of sleep, because you’re more relaxed, and enhance your connection at the same time.

4. Read Together 

We all know reading is good for us because it boosts our brain power while reducing stress. You can use this to your advantage in your relationship rituals, too. In the evening (maybe while you’re having that cup of tea) read a book together. One of you can read out loud to the other, taking turns, or maybe you can snuggle up with an audiobook. 

Another way you can do this is during your commute. Do you carpool? Listen to an audiobook together! No luck with carpooling? You can still sync up your listens by deciding which chapters you want to get through on the way to work so you can talk about them when you get home. 

5. Couples Counseling

If you feel like you’re having trouble connecting with your partner, it’s okay to reach out to a therapist. Couples counseling isn’t just for after things go nuclear. Healthy relationships can benefit from counseling just like a healthy body benefits from regular doctor visits. 

Strengthen your connection with a couples therapy and enjoy the closeness that comes with it. I’m here to help, please contact me soon.