Most of the time, we know what we want out of life. We have goals, and we can usually create a plan of actionable steps to achieve those goals. So why is it that so many of us feel like we’re stuck? Following through on our goals can feel daunting. This fear of failure is very real, but you can overcome it.
Some common manifestations of this are anxiety, depression, and perfectionism. If you experience fear of failure, it’s possible you’ll notice yourself procrastinating or lacking any confidence that you can meet your goals. Another way this manifests is by over-focusing on preventing loss rather than achieving gains. Let’s look at some ways you can put a stop to your fear of failure.
How to Keep Fear of Failure from Sabotaging Your Goals
When you recognize that you have disruptive behaviors standing in your way, that’s the first step to stopping your fear of failure. It’s important to understand what you truly fear. Then you can start reframing how you think about things by:
Reframe how you think
Much of a fear of failure stems from an all-or-nothing mentality. It’s okay to have a clear vision about what you want to achieve. But understand that learning curves, mistakes, and stumbles are all part of the process. Aim for improvement, not perfection. It’s a natural cost of experimentation, and that experimentation can ultimately lead to innovation. Think about obstacles and stumbling blocks as opportunities to grow.
Practice positive thinking
We believe what we tell ourselves. Your internal monologue can significantly affect how you behave. We live in a society steeped in the goal of success, but what is success? Define what this looks like for yourself. No one else can tell you what your success looks like. When you notice negative self-talk, flip it on its head. Turn “I can’t do this,” into “It’s going to be a challenge, but I can try!”
Acknowledge the worst-case scenario
This step is two-fold. For one, a worst-case scenario is, unfortunately, one likely scenario. However, much of the time, it sounds worse in our heads than it actually is. There’s a saying that goes, “Plan for the worst, hope for the best.” When you do this, you’re letting yourself acknowledge the potential failure without letting it stop you in your tracks. How bad is the worst-case scenario, really? Does it outweigh all the possible positive outcomes?
Let yourself learn
Like we said in the first part of this post, letting yourself learn from your mistakes is a powerful way to take the fear of failure out of the equation. When you fail, because you will, especially if you’re trying something new, reframe your thinking. Instead of thinking, “Well, that sucked. Guess I can’t do this after all,” try thinking, “What can I do differently next time that can improve the outcome?” This is a good time to refocus on your backup plan. You can troubleshoot instead of quitting.
Talk About It
Talk to a close friend or family member about your fear of failure. Being honest and transparent is often a hefty weight lifted from your shoulders. They might even encourage you to try for your goals, anyway. One of the best ways to help yourself feel more secure is to revisit your safety net. Talk to the people who help you feel strong and successful. If you need help to stop the negative self-talk, consider talking to a professional therapist too.
A professional therapist can help you discover the coping mechanisms that work for you. They can help you figure out a plan of action, the root of your fear, and even diagnose you with any underlying mental illnesses. It’s often helpful to have an objective point of view. Mental health support can provide that for you.
In particular, anxiety therapy can help you rein in unproductive thinking and focus forward helpfully. I’m here to assist. Please reach out to set up an appointment soon.
