Everyone has heard of the words self-esteem and self-confidence. However, neither of these things has the same meaning as self-worth. They are all closely related, but each has its own meaning and definition. Self-esteem, for instance, is what we think, feel, and believe about ourselves. Conversely, self-confidence is feeling confident enough in your abilities, skills, or looks. In other words, self-confidence is our confidence in very specific areas of our lives. Many people will interchange these two terms, and while they are closely related, there are some subtle differences.
What, then, is self-worth?
What Is Self-Worth
Self-worth is the thoughts, behaviors, and feelings that influence our sense of worthiness and value that we have as human beings. Our sense of self-worth rises above self-esteem or self-confidence. It is the understanding that you are far more than your self-esteem or confidence in yourself. Our self-worth, instead, is the very core of who we are.
In the world of psychology, there is something called self-worth theory. This theory states that someone’s main priority in life is to find self-acceptance. Self-acceptance is accomplished through achievement. Achievement, then, is found through the competition we have with others.
Some of the top factors that people use to measure their sense of self-worth are:
- Physical appearance
- Net worth—in terms of income, material possessions, assets, or all of the above
- Social circles/connections
- Career/job
- Achievements (success in career, success in terms of societal standards, academic or athletic performance, or anything else that someone is proud of accomplishing)
What Your Self-Worth Is Not
Before we learn how to build your self-worth, let’s go over what is not tied to self-worth. Your sense of self-worth has nothing to do with:
- Your to-do list and what you want to accomplish. The things you want to do or may not get done have no direct ties with your sense of worth.
- What your job actually is. If you enjoy it and it fulfills you, that is all that matters, not society’s viewpoint of what you should be doing.
- The number of social media followers you have.
- Your age. You are never “too young” or “too old” to accomplish or go after something that means something to you.
- How other people perceive you or view your accomplishments. If you are proud of them, then that is all that matters.
How To Build Up Your Self-Worth
Think About What Matters To YOU
Those factors we listed above? Those are just common things that many people will tie to their sense of self-worth. But they are not the law. We all get caught up in the rat race of competing with one another, but if the only competition you have is to be better than who you were, then that is completely okay. Take a step back and think about what is important to you. Is it that you treat others well? That you show compassion and empathy for your fellow human beings? Is it that you are happy with what you have in life and not what you don’t?
Quiet Your Inner Critic
Every single one of us has that pesky voice inside our heads. You know the one. That nagging voice that says you don’t deserve something. Or that you won’t accomplish something because “xyz.” The voice that makes you doubt yourself. Our inner critics are the biggest challenge any of us have to truly have a good, genuine sense of self-worth. We all get inside our heads too much; don’t let this voice win.
If nothing else, let’s talk soon so I can help you quiet this inner critic and find your sense of self-worth. With Anxiety Counseling, I can help you find what matters to YOU to help find and strengthen the faith you have in yourself.
