Going through a divorce is never easy. Even if you know it’s the right thing to do, and even if things end amicably, it’s still a loss. You likely didn’t go into your marriage assuming it would one day end. So, it’s normal to grieve and even struggle throughout the divorce process. 

Of course, not every divorce is “smooth” or amicable. Some can be downright devastating. Beyond the loss of your marriage, you might have to move to a different home. You might have to get used to living in a one-income household. Or, you might have to be away from your children for days at a time. 

Whatever the case, there’s no question that the divorce journey can be a difficult one. Thankfully, there are things you can do to cope. By working through this time in healthy, effective ways, you can improve your emotional resilience. Doing so will allow you to look to the future with hope and step into the next chapter of your life with your head held high. 

Acknowledge Your Feelings — All of Them

You’ll likely experience a rollercoaster of emotions as you go through your divorce journey. Sometimes, you might feel frightened, wondering what you’ll do next. One day, you might wake up feeling angry at your former spouse. Or even angry with yourself. 

A few minutes later, you might feel overcome with sadness and grief. 

It’s important to acknowledge all of those emotions as they come. Don’t try to push them down or ignore them. When you acknowledge them, you’ll be able to work through them more effectively and efficiently. It’s healthy, and when you acknowledge and accept them, they’ll start to feel less intense over time. 

Practice Self-Care

Self-care is always important, but it’s especially essential when you’re going through a divorce. 

It might be tempting to “ignore” taking care of yourself for a while. After all, you’re going through a lot and have other things to focus on. But make yourself a priority. Get enough sleep. Exercise. Eat a nutritious diet. Consider journaling your thoughts and feelings, or trying stress-reducing techniques like mindfulness and meditation. 

Self-care isn’t selfish, and it certainly isn’t a waste of time. Doing just one or two small things for yourself each day can make a big difference.

Don’t Go Through it Alone

Now is a perfect time to lean on your support system. That doesn’t necessarily mean listening to everyone’s opinions on your former spouse. That’s likely not what you need right now. Instead, let your friends and family know that you just need their support. That might be a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on. It might be someone to just get you out of the house for a while.

Don’t be afraid to express your needs to the people who care about you. They can build you up quickly. 

Find Yourself Again

It’s easy for people to lose their identity in marriage. Now, you have the opportunity to rediscover things about yourself that you might have forgotten about. Or, consider trying something new that’s always interested you. 

Take a class, start a new hobby, or join a club or group. If there’s something you used to enjoy but haven’t done in years, try picking it up again. This is a time of rediscovery, and when you have something new to look forward to, it can make getting through your grief much easier. 

Most importantly, give yourself a break when you’re going through a divorce journey. There’s no ideal timeline for getting over things. Show yourself some compassion, keep these strategies in mind, and don’t hesitate to reach out for help when you need it for life transitions counseling.