If you’ve ever found yourself behaving in a certain way but despising yourself for it, then it’s time for you to find your true self.
Along life’s way, you adopt certain characteristics that you cling to for one reason or another.
Slowly, these learned behaviors become such a part of yourself that you claim them as your identity. The only problem is that they’re not you at all. If they were, you wouldn’t experience such conflicting feelings.
Here’s how you can get beneath the layers of false identity and figure out who you really are.
Put Your Cards on the Table
When you make an honest attempt to find your true self, the first thing you need to do is strip down your behavior. Make a list of specific things you do that you want to examine. In other words, put your cards on the table for you to clearly see.
The goal is to identify the unwanted behaviors for which you’ve been conditioned or rewarded and permanently delete them out of your identity.
In pinpointing your specific behaviors, ask yourself if it’s really something fundamental about yourself. From where does the behavior stem? Insecurity, fear of failure, need for acceptance?
If it’s not rooted in your core values, then ditch it. It’s not really you. Your core values are the things in life you truly value rather than what society pressures you to value.
Get Rid of the “Not Adulting Today” Tee Shirt
We all have those days where there is just not enough coffee and being an adult is too much for us to handle.
But, to find your true self, you’re going to have to do very adult things. Things like introspection and self-examination. And you’re not going to be doing it for a few minutes while you lie in Shavasana, for example.
This mission will take you weeks, months, years, or even the rest of your life. That doesn’t mean you won’t see change tomorrow, but it does mean you’re going to have to approach this endeavor in a very adult and ready-to-get-my-hands-dirty way. Learning, even learning about yourself, is a life-long journey.
To find your true self you must dedicate yourself to YOU.
Give the Autopilot a Huge Vacation
Up until now, you’ve been conditioned to function on autopilot. More than that, you’ve been rewarded for it. For whatever reason, you behave the way you do because of the results you achieved from that particular behavior.
It’s time for you to take the wheel now. It’s time for you to ignore that feeling of reward when others give you a proverbial pat on the back or nod of acceptance.
More than anything, this means that before you respond, you will need to stop and think about your response. Give yourself the right to challenge your own thought pattern. With every situation, choose who you want to be and then be that person.
Identify the Real Cage in Your Life
For so long, you might have thought of yourself as free. You did what you wanted and you liked who you were.
Except… that you didn’t.
Inside, you cringed at yet another “procrastinator” joke, for example. Why? More often than not, people pegged as “procrastinators” are innately hard workers afraid of failing. So, they procrastinate to hide from who they really want to be. It feels safe this way. But, it also feels conflicting.
Though, this theory isn’t reserved strictly for procrastinators.
Amidst all your introspection, take time to figure out what you authentically feel. You already know the identity you’ve created for yourself. But, is it authentic? If your authentic story and your current habits don’t align, then your current habits aren’t really you.
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If you’re ready to find your true self, but life has clouded your mission, please reach out to me. I can help you start fresh in life by helping you to uncover your true identity.