When you have an older or younger partner with a significant age difference, you are in what’s called an age gap relationship.

Perhaps neither of you were expecting to be with someone much older or younger than the other. However, one thing led to another. And now, here you are!

Of course, you want the relationship to be successful. And that can be tricky at times.

So, what’s the secret? It turns out that the essence of a successful relationship is not restricted by age at all!

Here’s how you can have a successful age gap relationship.

Find Things You Have in Common

It doesn’t matter what the age, sharing things that you have in common is always an essential part of a relationship. Granted, there are plenty of couples where each partner has their own interests. For instance, you like to read classic Greek literature while your partner prefers to work out at the gym.

Yet, there are most likely things you have in common that brought you both together. For example, a love of art or music, cooking meals at home, traveling, etc. Build on those mutual pleasures, and try to expand each other’s vision.

Also, try something that’s new for both of you, and see what happens. Having new and exciting experiences is always a great way to build a solid relationship.

Talk about the Age Gap

There are many things that couples should talk about: money, dividing household tasks, creating a family, etc. For those in age gap relationships that means having an honest discussion about your differences in age. And be open with one another.

Do you or your partner have concerns? How will the differences in age affect your lives together for the long term? These are important things to consider, especially if you intend to be together for many years.

Having these conversations now, and forming a plan, will help with building a successful relationship.

Recognize and Celebrate Differences

With an age gap relationship, there will always be differences in how each of you perceives the world. For instance, you like music from the 90s while your partner is a true child of the 80s. That’s okay!

Everyone has their differences when they come together as a couple. Recognize those differences and even celebrate them. For instance, if you are 29 but your partner is about to reach the 40-year milestone, embrace it!

This is part of a bigger issue that transcends any relationship: being open and transparent with one another. Neither of you should try to hide or pretend to be someone you’re not.

Establish and Practice Healthy Communication Skills

Communication is so critical for any successful relationship. Whether you have an older or younger partner, you both need to be able to communicate well with each other.

Perhaps you’re already doing that. Maybe that’s what brought you both together. There was a connection because when you met you both thought the other really “got” you. Build on that foundation by practicing good communication skills, as well as listening intently.

Couples Counseling for Age Gap Relationships

Whether your relationship is rock-solid or needs help, it doesn’t hurt to talk to a couples counselor. Couples counseling can help with fine-tuning those communication and listening skills, for one thing. It is also a place where you can talk about the successes and challenges of being in an age gap relationship.

Remember, going to therapy doesn’t mean that either of you has failed at the relationship. Rather, it’s a chance to continue to strengthen and improve what you already have.

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The key to a successful age gap relationship is similar to any successful relationship. Having things in common, communication and listening, as well as embracing the things that make each of you unique. Whether you are the older or younger partner, all that matters is your love for one another.

If you would like to know more about how couples counseling can help you build a solid relationship, please contact me.