Perhaps you are really struggling with your partner right now, thinking: ‘Why can’t they just give me some space? And clearly, they haven’t heard the news about how important it is to wash your hands frequently!‘
Even in the best of times, relationship stress can be a problem for couples. However, now that you are both stuck at home so much due to the coronavirus pandemic, you may have started feeling like a caged animal.
It makes sense then that you might struggle to manage stress, and occasionally snap at your partner.
Yet, those little moments can develop into much bigger problems if left unaddressed. So, here are five ways that you can manage relationship stress, even during difficult times.
1. Watch Out for Nagging
Many couples have trouble with nagging, and that is a real drag on any relationship.
For instance, imagine this scenario: You notice that your partner doesn’t pick up after themselves around the house. That’s really annoying, even in the best of times. So you might be tempted to say something that cuts a little deeper than a friendly reminder. However, nobody likes to be nagged. It sets you both up for a situation in which one feels bossed by the other.
Instead of snapping at them, take a moment to pause and form your thoughts. Then, you could say, for example: “Would you mind emptying the laundry dryer so I can dry my clothes? Thank you!” Providing friendly reminders with context will go a lot farther to solve the issue than nagging.
2. Take a Mental Break
Sometimes it helps to take a mental break during the day and comfort yourself. These self-soothing practices help with staying calm, centered, and in control.
Some examples include:
- Breathing exercises
- Body scans
- Practicing meditation, allowing thoughts to come to the surface, but then simply letting them go
- Yoga
- Repeating your favorite inspirational quote to yourself
- Closing your eyes and letting your mind go blank while listening to a white noise machine
These mental breaks don’t take up a lot of time, but they can help refresh and relax you. And that can go a long way towards relieving stress in general, not just relationship stress.
3. Give Each other Room in Tight Quarters
Oftentimes, when couples experience relationship conflict, they give each other some space. In fact, this is usually what is advised when discussions get heated to avoid a blowup.
Physically removing yourself during a shelter-in-place situation isn’t necessarily practical. Yet, sometimes you need to make space to manage stress. So, how can you do it when you’re stuck in the same house?
Here are some ideas that might help:
- Go to another room and close the door, even if it’s the bathroom (or a closet!)
- Take advantage of a deck, patio, or other private outdoor space
- Put on some headphones (and perhaps a blindfold too) and listen to music, white noise, or sounds from nature
With just a little creativity, you can find the space you need to manage stress and give each other some privacy.
4. Embrace What Makes Each of You Unique
One thing that many people do in an effort to manage stress, including relationship stress, is focusing on differences. Usually, that means looking at personality traits from a negative perspective and make comparisons. “Oh, I am always organized and they are a sloppy mess!” It’s a habit you may fall into because it makes you feel more in control.
However, focusing on differences in a negative way also has the effect of making your partner feel devalued and driving them away. So instead of turning a critical eye, embrace the things that make each of you unique. Those differences, when combined, can actually help you better support one another.
5. Have Fun Together
An effective way to manage any kind of stress is to have fun! When you have fun, your brain is no longer releasing stress hormones, such as cortisol. Instead, you feel more relaxed, engaged, and happier.
Also, doing fun things together helps to increase the bond you share as partners. And, of course, utilizing humor is an enjoyable way of keeping relationship stress in check.
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Relationship stress can occur at any time. But when you are feeling like a caged animal, stuck in your home, it can seem harder to manage that stress. However, the above-mentioned tips can help you avoid doing things that you later regret, such as snapping at your partner.
And if you and your partner are still struggling with couples conflict after applying those suggestions, contact me to see what couples counseling could do for your relationship.
