One of the primary mechanisms used by anxiety and depression to keep us down is negative self-talk. If you have social anxiety, you might return from a party overwhelmed by thoughts that no one liked you and kicking yourself for mistakes you feel you made. Negative self-talk is destructive because it doesn’t have much to do with reality. Perhaps people at the party really were interested in you, yet you still left feeling badly about yourself.

When you feel as if you’re in a losing battle with your own thoughts, you can start to avoid parties and other social activities altogether or expect that things will never go well, thus losing out on the life you really want.

Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) has been validated by many different researchers as an effective way to treat anxiety, depression, and the self-directed negative thoughts that come hand-in-hand with those problems.

So why exactly does CBT win against negative self-talk?

1. One of the biggest aims of CBT is problem-solving.

Just like it sounds, CBT is a combination of cognitive and behavioral therapies. It takes a very solution-oriented approach to mental health. By looking at the whole picture of whatever is holding you back, like social anxiety for example, you can develop strategies for coping and getting your life back.

One benefit of a problem-solving mindset in therapy is that your treatment will have structure. Assessments will help identify specific problems holding you back, while goal-setting will keep you on track and allow you to see how far you’ve come. So when it comes to talking negatively to yourself, that inner voice is no match for CBT.

2. CBT helps you recognize negative self-talk for what it is—negative.

Self-talk is so powerful because it’s integrated seamlessly into your thoughts. It can be hard to believe at first that you have the ability to separate yourself from the stream of self-directed negative feelings in your mind. One of the greatest strengths of CBT is that it helps you identify specific things you might be telling yourself that are keeping you down.

Once you recognize the negative thinker within you, it’s easier to identify times when you’re feeling worse than you could be. You can start to turn bad thoughts into other, more positive thoughts. Awareness of your toxic thinking patterns gives you a barometer for determining when your thoughts are realistic or simply negative for negativity’s sake.

3. CBT helps give you more control over your thoughts.

In CBT you learn many different practical strategies for managing your thoughts. When it comes to self-defeating thinking, one tactic that often works is giving the negative voice a name. By giving it a name, you separate yourself from the voice making you feel small. You can even talk to it, telling yourself you are lovable when something else inside is telling you you’re not.

Rather than trying to shut out bad thoughts or live with them hanging over your head, CBT gives you real and lasting tools for taking control of who you are and what you do.

4. In CBT, you’re not alone with your negative self-talk; you have an ally.

Self-directed negativity wins when it’s given free-reign to monopolize how you think about yourself. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness; therapy gives you the confidence and support you need to feel good again. Talking to a therapist can put things in perspective for you in a way that living alone with your thoughts cannot.

A therapist can root for you, listen to you, and help give you a whole arsenal of tools for keeping negative thoughts at bay.