Even in the best of times couples struggle with interpersonal tension. Typically, the issues involved include those little quirks or habits of your partner or that they have trouble remembering things.

With COVID-19, the tension for many couples has only increased. Now, you not only have other preexisting issues to deal with but also, on top of that, a pandemic. This is a big problem if you are concerned about your relationship.

However, it is possible to ease the stress even with the continuously looming coronavirus. Here’s what you can do to address interpersonal tension.

1. Give Each Other Some Space

Typically, when couples are experiencing interpersonal tension, one of the first steps to ease the stress is to give each other some space. The idea behind this is that you are lowering the chance of an argument from flaring up. After all, it’s more difficult to get sucked into an argument when you are not in each other’s presence.

But in the midst of a pandemic and stay-at-home orders, the idea of taking space from one another is certainly much harder. What can you do?

If possible, retreat to separate rooms. Or perhaps step out onto a balcony or into the backyard. When these are not options you can implement, try putting on headphones, playing calming music or white noise, and closing your eyes.

2. Try to See Things from Your Partner’s Perspective

Another way to diffuse tension is by trying to see things from your partner’s perspective. For example, let’s say that your partner is very concerned about COVID-19. They want to take precautions that you believe are over-the-top. Even though you don’t agree with their worries, you are certainly concerned about them.

Think about why they are so worried. Have there been times in your own life when you also felt that your life was at risk? Connecting these experiences helps to build understanding. That is very important to make any relationship work, especially during stressful times.

3. Be Willing to Compromise

Stress will exist in any relationship when partners don’t compromise. It’s that unwillingness to be flexible and find common ground that causes interpersonal tension to flourish.

If you are concerned about your relationship, then both of you have to be willing to compromise. Of course, it’s easier to come to an agreement over some issues rather than others. But where there’s a will, there’s a way.

For example, your partner says they are doing too many of the household tasks and wants you to do more. You discuss the matter, compromise, and come to a solution that involves dividing the chores in a more equitable manner.

4. Don’t End a Discussion Without a Resolution

It’s important not to let a discussion end without some kind of resolution. The reason why this is so critical is that, without closure, both of you come away unsatisfied. That means the disagreement will be more likely to come up again in the future.

When it comes to relationships that is a big problem. Eventually, after regurgitating it several times, you may feel like the situation has become unsolvable. And that causes even more frustration for each of you and the frustration can boil over the next time the issue comes up, escalating the tension.

By having a resolution, you close the loop on the topic so that it’s less likely to be a problem in the future. If a resolution is not possible at that time, agree to pause and come back to it later. Determine a time that works best for each of you. Don’t leave it open-ended, as you will be less likely to bring it up again unless you’re forced to.

5. Engage in Couples Therapy

Sometimes the disagreement is so great that you need outside support. COVID-19 has affected many of the ways we typically interact with each other. However, it’s still possible to get professional help and engage in couples therapy. How?

Online therapy or teletherapy by phone allows couples to connect with a therapist from the comfort of their own home. In some ways, this actually makes it easier to participate in therapy because you don’t have to leave your home. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help, and sometimes interpersonal tension requires outside assistance.

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Interpersonal tension is not going to go away with COVID-19. In fact, the pandemic has the potential to add even more layers of stress to an already tense relationship. If you are concerned about your relationship, try following the above tips to east the tension.

However, don’t hesitate to ask for help from a therapist specializing couples counseling. Please, feel free to contact me and inquire about how I conduct phone therapy with my clients while practicing social distancing.