We learn negative thinking at our mother’s knee.

It’s hard to forget hurtful experiences—that’s how we learn not to touch the hot stove or try to fly off the garage roof.

Thinking about bad experiences helps us avoid them. But too much negative thinking can get in the way of living well. It can lead to depression and keep us from reaching our potential and achieving happiness.

Conquering negative thoughts may take some work, but it’s worth the effort to improve your happiness, health, and longevity.

Here’s what you can do.

Conquering Negative Thoughts

Acknowledge your thoughts

Conquering negative thoughts means realizing that you have them. It doesn’t mean beating yourself up for having them.

Instead of telling yourself “stop obsessing about your weight,” just acknowledge what you’re thinking about. “I’m worrying about gaining weight again.”

Be a Friend to Yourself

What would you tell a friend in your situation? You probably would not berate them or tell them they’re silly or stupid for worrying.

Be a friend to yourself, too. Give the advice you’d give to a good friend. Support your friend, self, “You’re doing a good job. Keep working at it, and you’ll see improvement soon.”

Challenge Your Negative Thinking

To get from a negative mindset to a positive one, challenge what you’re thinking. If you’re feeling like a failure, think about the times you’ve succeeded.

Ask yourself what evidence you have for your failure thoughts. Consider whether the facts back up your thoughts.

Are you basing your negative thoughts on how you feel? Are you interpreting the situation realistically? How would someone else view your situation? How would you view it if it was happening to someone else?

Learn to Breathe: Inspiration

Inspiration means, “the drawing in of breath.” To inspire happiness from within, literally, take a deep breath.

Learn the benefits of breathing practice. Breathing practices can relieve symptoms of anxiety, depression, even post-traumatic stress disorder and attention deficit disorder. And breathing practice has been around for centuries, used by everybody from yogis to the Buddha himself.

Yes, controlled breathing calms your nervous system, reduces stress, increases alertness, and boosts your immune system. And it’s free!

Write Your Story—Your Way

Writing about yourself and your experiences—called expressive writing—has been shown to improve mood disorders like depression. It even helps reduce cancer symptoms.

It isn’t just creative types who benefit from keeping a journal, though. Writing can help you express how you feel, examine your life mindfully, and resolve your inner conflicts. Even 15 minutes a day can help to change your behavior and boost your happiness.

Even better than writing your story is re-writing it.

After you’ve written about what you’re struggling with, write a new story, from the point of view of a helpful friend. Encourage yourself as you would a friend. “You’re struggling financially, but here are some steps you can take to get back on track.” “I know you’re lonely. How about joining a group? Take a class. Focus on meeting new people and having fun.”

If you’re artistically inclined, or even if you’re not, you can write your story in pictures. Start an art journal. Paste in it some happy pictures. Doodle. Draw. Write out encouraging slogans. Do it your way!

Move to Improve Your Mood

Of course, you already know exercise is good for you. But you don’t have to do rigorous exercise like jumping jacks or rock climbing to improve your mood. Gentle walking can do the trick. Dancing is good. Gardening, tennis, Zumba, whatever takes your fancy.

Whether moving makes you happy or whether happy people move more, movement and happiness go hand in hand.

Look on the Bright Side: Practice Being Optimistic

No matter if you learned negative thinking growing up in a family of pessimists or taught it to yourself, you can change your point of view.

Being optimistic doesn’t mean ignoring reality. You don’t have to be a Pollyanna to be hopeful. “Losing my job was hard, but now I’m re-thinking what I want to do with my life. I can look for work that suits my skills and makes me happy.”

And when you can, hang out with optimistic people. Positive friends help you keep a positive outlook.

You Can Inspire Happiness from Within

As noted above, conquering your negative thoughts by first acknowledging and then challenging them will help inspire happiness, especially if you act like your own best friend when you do it.

Moreover, breathing practice can help you stay calm and reduce stress. Writing and rewriting your story can help you work through your worries and improve your mindset. And moving can lift your mood while it improves your health.

Above all, you can improve your outlook by practicing optimism, particularly if you hang out with optimistic people. Yes, with just a little practice and effort, conquering negative thoughts by replacing them with positive ones is possible. Best of all, it will bring a measure of happiness back into your life and inspire you to find more happiness from within.