No question, there is such a thing as ‘the old boys’ network.
Having connections never got in the way of anybody’s success in business. But if you don’t have them yet, you can defeat that old boys’ network to give yourself a chance.
How?
Apply these nine skills.
1. Practice
Have you heard the one about the tourist in NYC who asks a stranger, “How do you get to Carnegie Hall?” The answer: “Practice, practice, practice.”
Real skill goes beyond who you know. It takes work. But in time, practicing your skills will defeat the old boys’ network.
To become skilled in business, as in other endeavors, you need to be emotionally invested. You need to reach beyond your current level. You need to repeat and repeat. And you need to get feedback as soon as possible after you use a skill.
Talent helps, but it’s not a substitute for hard work.
2. Commitment and Technique
To keep on keeping on, you’ve got to be committed.
First, commit to your goal. Then, learn the technique. Being good at playing the piano or coding means putting in the time and effort and putting up with failure, frustration, and doing something over and over. Business success is no different.
3. Extraordinary Effort
Giving 110% is a superficial cliché. Most people do the best they can for their circumstances. The way to defeat the old boys’ network is to change the circumstances.
As Seth Godin puts it, “This moment, this interaction, this customer… these are the perfect circumstances, the most urgent, the highest leverage.” Treat every customer like the boss’ son. Approach every opportunity like it’s your last.
4. Charisma: Caring and Connecting
Charismatic leadership takes you above and beyond the old boys’ network. Charm and persuasiveness will take you far in business, as they do in life. But more important, conviction and commitment to your cause make you a charismatic business leader.
To communicate with co-workers, subordinates, clients, and customers at a deep, emotional level, you must care about and connect with those you lead, supervise and serve. Caring takes time and can be expensive. But it creates loyalty and trust that’s worth it in the long run.
And you don’t have to be born with it. As Godin says, “Charisma doesn’t permit us to lead. Leading gives us charisma.”
5. Passion
Common career advice: choose a job you love. But passion about work is not that simple. Every kind of work has its mundane side. To maintain your joy through the daily grind, you must relate your work to what you value.
Serving something bigger than yourself creates the kind of passion you need to defeat the old boys’ network.
See the big picture. Instead of doing what you love, love what you do. “If we can fall in love with serving people, creating value, solving problems, building valuable connections and doing work that matters, it makes it far more likely we’re going to do important work.”
6. Generosity
It’s not easy to be generous. It takes sacrifice—sharing when we’d rather keep it for ourselves. It takes kindness. It’s hard to see someone else’s problems when we have enough of our own.
Generosity takes empathy—putting ourselves in someone else’s place, feeling what they feel. And it makes us face our vulnerability.
But it pays big dividends. We all want to be cared for. We all want to matter to other people. Generosity benefits both the receiver and the giver.
7. Risk-Taking: Don’t Be Confused by False Fear
If you wait until you feel ready to do something, it may be too late. Be willing to do the things that are too hard or take too long, where the outcome is uncertain.
If worrying about something will help change your behavior, OK. Otherwise, it’s just a distraction.
Focusing on the bad things that might happen, like worrying about an asteroid hitting the earth, can lead to unproductive despair. Taking foolish risks, like texting while driving, is reckless.
Weigh the risks. Weigh the costs. Wearing a helmet while riding your bike or motorcycle is a cheap way to avoid brain damage or death.
8. Persistence
The Old Saw defines insanity as doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. Seth Godin put it a better way: “Persistence isn’t using the same tactics over and over. That’s just annoying. Persistence is having the same goal over and over.”
After you understand what you value in life, set goals that prioritize those values. Then be persistent in working to reach those goals.
9. Honest Storytelling
The story you tell yourself—or the story you tell your boss, your co-workers, your customers—had better be an honest story.
Great stories are true, not just factual. They capture people’s imaginations because they are consistent and authentic. A great story promises something exceptional. But it’s also credible, trustworthy. It conveys your worldview and relates to your audience.
But above all, a great story that helps you create business connections is honest.
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As you can see, more powerful than who you know is who you are and what you can do. Skills and qualities like practice, commitment, extraordinary effort, charisma, passion, generosity, risk-taking, persistence, and honest storytelling will help you create a network of valuable business connections. Go ahead and put it to the test someday soon.
