A common belief is that all romantic relationships require sacrifice. After all, when you are in a partnership, your priorities shift from being single to being a couple.
Maybe you don’t always get to go out with your friends like you used to. Or you have to give up your Saturday leisure activities to take care of tasks around the house.
That makes sense as that is part of the give-and-take of being in a relationship.
However, what happens when one partner is more ambitious than the other? What could be the effects of ambition on your relationship?
If you find yourself wondering if ambition is causing you to sacrifice too much in your romantic relationship, consider these thoughts.
Having Ambition Is OK…to an Extent
Ambition isn’t always a bad thing in a romantic relationship. It’s healthy to have a romantic partner who has goals and wants to succeed.
Of course, everyone has different things that they want to accomplish in life. However, it helps to know when you either share similar objectives or that you support one another in your ambitions.
The problem arises when there is a mismatch between partners. If there is one ambitious partner and another that lacks any ambition, or whose goals are completely different than the other, that difference can become a source of conflict.
Feeling Left Out
One of the effects of ambition on romantic relationships is that one partner might feel left out or left behind. For example, let’s say that your partner has agreed to take another job that will advance their career goals. However, they didn’t take the time to consult with you about this decision.
Of course, you probably feel that’s important. After all, taking any kind of new position will affect the relationship and family, either positively or negatively. Hence, when this communication doesn’t happen, you may feel left out. It reinforces that you are not actually working together as a team. And that’s a real problem for any romantic relationship.
Making All the Sacrifices
Another one of the effects of ambition is that it can lead you to question whether you are the one making all of the sacrifices in the relationship. For instance, your partner has an important and powerful position in their organization. They travel a lot for work. And when they are home, they wind up spending a lot of time at the office.
You had your own ambitions at once, but over time you put those aside to support your partner and their career. Has this sacrifice become a huge imbalance in your relationship now?
Here are some questions to reflect on whether you are the only one making sacrifices:
- How much does your partner contribute to household chores or tasks?
- Does your partner attend activities for the children, such as sporting events or birthday parties?
- Is your partner involved in making decisions together for the household?
- Have you ever felt that you could be doing more to achieve your full potential?
Creating Resentment
When there is a mismatch of ambition between partners, the result can be that resentment builds up over time. Usually, this happens with the partner who feels like they are sacrificing too much.
The ambitious partner, on the other hand, may not realize the impact of what they are doing to the relationship. That is unless their partner says something.
But even then, the effect might be that speaking up creates more division, as the ambitious partner may discount what the other has to say. Over time, this resentment creates a divide in the romantic relationship. And this can lead to other issues, such as infidelity and affairs if left unaddressed.
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If you are concerned about the effects of ambition on your romantic relationship and find yourself asking whether you are sacrificing too much, not all is lost. Couples counseling can help both you and your ambitious partner to communicate about this issue. Please, contact me or click on the link to find out more.
