It’s hard to believe how fast children grow up. It can seem as if it was just yesterday that they were taking their first steps or saying their first full sentence. Now, your child is about to hit another huge milestone—they are leaving home for the first time.

Maybe they are going off to college, or they just got their first apartment and are moving in soon. No matter if your child is 18 or 23, them moving out probably feels like a whirlwind of emotions.

Everybody knows we grieve over losing a loved one, friend, or even a pet. However, did you also know that we can grieve for many more reasons beyond that? A child leaving home is a perfect example of this.

Empty Nest Syndrome: Processing Grief When Children Leave Home

Trying to process grief, no matter the reason, is really hard. It can feel complicated and messy, especially when other things need to be taken care of, like work or household responsibilities.

Here are a few tips to help you to begin processing the grieving process that comes from an empty nest.

Know Your Feelings Are Valid

The first step in processing your feelings is to not try to push them away or invalidate them. If you are struggling right now, know that your feelings are valid. While it may seem as if other parents are not affected by their child growing up, that doesn’t mean they aren’t. And, even if that is the case, you have every obligation to feel how you do.

They Are Probably Scared, Too

When you are young, you have an uncanny ability to put a brave face on. To make it seem to the world that you are excited and not at all scared for what is to come. But the truth is, most young people are actually scared. Even if they would never admit it to you (right now, anyways), it’s just as daunting to them as it is to you, if not more. Knowing they aren’t as excited and feeling brave for this new transition can help.

Life Is Full Of Transitions

We are always in a transitionary period of our lives, even if it doesn’t seem like it. You aren’t the same person you were 10 years ago or even last year. And that is the same for your child. Coping with empty nest syndrome also involves reminding ourselves that we are always in a transition period. It’s an inevitable part of life that is constantly evolving. As hard as this time might be, it can help put things into perspective. This isn’t the first time their life has changed in some way, and it won’t be the last.

Talk to them

We mentioned earlier that they are probably just as nervous about this upcoming period as you are. They might be going on endlessly about how excited they are and what they are looking forward to most, but something is likely bothering them. Don’t be afraid to ask them about it. Or gently let them know that if they feel like they need to talk to you about being nervous or unsure of something during this time, they can always ask. It goes without saying that no matter what age you get to be, in some ways, you will always still need your parents or guardians.

Find Support

If you are finding that this upcoming transition is causing more havoc on you than you would like to admit, it’s okay. It’s okay to admit that you aren’t okay or comfortable with something fully.

Don’t hesitate to reach out soon to learn more about how grief counseling or anxiety therapy can help you with this life transition and more.