You’ve likely been through a few romantic relationships in your life; you probably had a friend or two who stuck with you through each of them. Research backs up conventional wisdom when it comes to good friends: having people in your life you can turn to whether things are good or bad is an important part of long-term happiness. Good friends can give you a confidence boost, make you less susceptible to stress, and help foster a more upbeat attitude about life.
Keeping a great friendship afloat can be difficult as you navigate the wind and waves unique to each of your own lives. Making new friends can be even harder in an age when more and more life seems to be lived from behind a screen.
So how can you nourish those real-life connections that matter so much to you?
8 Ways to Keep Good Friends Around
1. Let go
Each new stage of life brings with it new people, fresh ideas, and unique responsibilities. If you’ve been friends with someone for a long time, you’ll go through lots of these phases together. At different times, one of your lives might be more complicated and overwhelming. If a good friend didn’t pick up the phone when you needed her or missed your birthday party, let it go. Slip ups are inevitable and don’t mean your friend doesn’t care anymore.
2. Be honest
In the same way a romantic relationship works best when you’re honest, the best friendship is one in which you can be real with each other. Tell your good friends how you really feel about what’s going on in your life; they’ll likely reciprocate. Trust and emotional intimacy are fundamental elements of any load-bearing relationship.
3. Get online
While social media can’t make a friendship, staying connected online can go a long way in maintaining relationships with good friends. If physical distance is a factor in your friendship, keeping each other posted on what’s going on in your life helps you stay engaged by bridging the miles.
4. Keep it short
You’ve likely received an email or text from someone that required a lengthy response and put off responding until you had more time. When it comes to your friends, don’t wait until you can sit down to compose a beautiful letter. Checking in and giving brief updates is a much more effective way of keeping you in each other’s life.
5. Make an appointment
Making an appointment to see someone you care about might sound a little unnecessary at first, but the truth is, life gets busy. Carving time out of an increasingly busy schedule for a friend makes those much-needed catch-up sessions impossible to miss.
6. Be flexible
It’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of living in a new city or starting a new job; making time for someone who you know will always be there can unintentionally take a back seat. As you both grow, your friendship will also undergo some changes. Even if the rituals of your early friendship become less possible, the person you connected with in the first place is still there.
7. Do what you both enjoy
Have you been out of touch for awhile? Reconnect by doing what you both love. Focusing on an activity you used to enjoy together takes the focus away from all the time you’ve missed and places it on why your friendship works.
8. Take a trip
Using social media and Skype to stay in touch can be great, but nothing beats a good old fashioned hang out with an old friend. If you want to keep in touch with someone after you move apart, invite them into your current life by letting them crash on your couch for a weekend.