We all face adversity and hard times from time to time. It’s a natural part of life. Being there for your partner during the toughest times is what can cement your bond and take your relationship to the next level.

One of the ways that you can support your partner in such situations? By being their “soft place to land.” What does it mean to cultivate such a relationship environment? Must you be a doormat? Should your sacrifice your needs to meet theirs? Not at all. The goal is to create a relationship that promotes as much mutual love and support as much as possible. You’re just opening the door. 

What Does A Soft Place To Land Mean?

Being a soft place to land is simply to be a reliably and safely there for your significant other. You’re the person that they go to with their problems, fears, struggles, and anxieties. A soft place to land is the place you can let down and break down without pretense, fear of judgment, or undue worry. 

The soft place to land is just that, it’s a soft, nurturing place. Optimally, you want your relationship to be a place where you can admit your faults, missteps, or regrets. Though riffs and repairs in your relationship will happen over time, your partner is secure in the sense that they are welcome, valued, and understood.

It’s comfortable and safe to know that they can come to you for acceptance and support. 

How To Be Your Partner’s Soft Place To Land

Being your partner’s soft place to land is important for building and maintaining a strong relationship. As you master this connection, you will effectively learn to trust each other more and become a solid support system for each other. Not only this but being there for each other meets a deep need in all of us to belong and feel securely attached.

So, how can you be a partner’s soft place to land?

Listen Actively and Attentively

When it comes to being a soft place to land, it’s essential that you are a good listener. Let your partner talk and fully communicate their feelings. Don’t interrupt, be present and engaged. Sometimes, they just need a shoulder to cry on, or they may just need to be heard and validated. Whatever the circumstance, openly communicate that they are loved. 

Be Willing to Forgive

We all make mistakes and we all face difficulties in life. Remind them of your commitment and willingness to forgive. Honoring your own boundaries, make healthy allowances for your partner’s human foibles. Honor too, your mutual needs and desire to navigate life as a team. Some partners may feel immensely guilty and shameful about their actions. As you work through them together, share your goals for your relationship and a willingness to release past mistakes without lingering resentment.

Avoid Being Judgemental

Try not to be judgemental when your partner opens up. Listen to their thoughts, fears, and feelings with an open mind. Avoid dismissing, minimizing, or making light of your partner’s perspective when they are sharing. This could lead them to internalize their feelings in the future. Worse, they may develop resentment and/or anxiety about interacting with you moving forward.

Offer Emotional Safety & Understanding

If you want to be a soft place for your partner to land, let your partner know that you love them unconditionally. Share that you see and hear them. Be as reliable, trustworthy, and receptive as you can to grow a deeper bond.

Reach Out for Support

To conclude, being a “soft place to land” means that you open yourself up as a safe space for your partner. Give them room to be honest and open about their emotions. This means being just as vulnerable. If you need help creating this sort of relationship, you aren’t alone. I’m here to help. Please read more about couples therapy and contact me soon for help.