It’s not uncommon for many of us to talk negatively to ourselves. This is also sometimes called our “inner critic.” It’s the voice inside of us that says we aren’t enough or we are bound to make a mistake because of who we are inside. This inner critic voice often sounds like us, becoming all the more convincing that what it is saying is the truth. In reality, this little voice is, more often than not, a complete and utter liar.

While there is nothing wrong with being critical of ourselves, it’s important not to let that get pushed too far out of bounds. Most of the time, this voice is a result of anxiety or depression. No matter what the cause is, there is good news. You can learn to stop negative self-talk and, as a result, show more compassion towards yourself. Here are a few ways how.

How To Stop Negative Self-Talk

Being Overly Positive Does Not Cancel It Out

If you have ever heard someone say, “Just be more positive!” You might think to yourself, “Cool, problem solved!” It’s important to note that this isn’t always true. Sure, being positive helps. But you can’t just flip a switch and expect that to have a lasting effect.

For instance, when trying to find a solution, your negative self-talk might be, “I’m not smart enough to figure this out.” While an overly positive one might be, “I can definitely figure this out!” Confidence is good; however, that isn’t going to be super helpful if you don’t get it right away.

Instead, approach it with a more neutral tone. “I don’t have this figured out right now, but I think I can figure it out eventually.” This creates a transitional period for you that can help reframe your thoughts.

woman standing on a rock overlooking hills at sunsetWhat Evidence Do You Have?

We’ll use the example above again. You are in the middle of trying to figure something out, and your inner critic says, “I won’t be able to figure this out.” Question this thought. What evidence do you have? Don’t use a past failure example as justification for this. Think of the here and now. Grounding yourself in the “proof” of something can help you slowly begin recognizing this inner critic and what it is trying to convince you.

Recognize When You Are Beginning To Feel Anxious

Are your palms getting sweaty? Do you feel your heart starting to race? Listen to your body’s telltale signs that it is starting to feel anxious or on edge. When we start to feel anxious, it often leads to negative thought patterns and cycles. As you slowly pick up on how your body feels as it deals with stress, you will also start to notice how your thoughts change.

Try To Practice Self-Soothing Techniques

It’s not enough to recognize when the body responds to anxiety. It’s also important to know how to self-soothe or calm your “nervous” nervous system down. What works for one person might not be a solution for someone else.

Some of the best self-soothing and mindfulness techniques we know that work are:

  • Yoga or Meditation
  • Deep breathing exercises
  • Going for a short walk or getting a short exercise in, such as cardio or even dancing
  • Journaling

With anxiety, sometimes it is a trial and error process to find what works for you to calm your anxious thoughts. Calming your body down can be a miracle worker when it comes to keeping negative self-talk at bay.

If you struggle to overcome negative self-talk, don’t hesitate to reach out to me. Anxiety therapy can be a powerful tool to help you quiet your inner critic.