Starting a family is supposed to be a happy time as you and your partner look forward to the future.
Yet, what happens when those plans go awry?
More often than couples realize, the journey to family building can be a struggle. Particularly if infertility is an issue. For many, depression and fertility go hand-in-hand. If this is the case for you and your partner, keep reading to learn more and understand how depression can impact your fertility journey and relationship.
Moreover, it is important to determine how treatment can help you get through this difficult time with your bond intact.
How Fertility and Depression Influence Each Other & Your Relationship
Trying to have a baby together can be challenging, and even more so when there are fertility issues.
What often happens is that there is a double-edged sword to this problem. On the one hand, the depression itself can influence your fertility experience. However, the fertility experience may influence your depression too.
If you already experience depression or know that you are prone to dark moods, fertility problems may only exacerbate the problem. Fertility treatment is fraught with unknowns that create lots of uncertainty. This may influence your depression and cause you to feel less positive and hopeful about creating a family.
What Are the Causes of Depression When Fertility is an Issue?
Generally, there are many things that can either cause or influence depression when you work on family building. For example:
- Trying to get pregnant on your own, but it’s not working
- Learning that you have a fertility problem and will need treatment
- The treatment process itself and how it affects your body, intimacy (drugs, procedures, etc.)
- Feeling like you are alone in this and nobody understands
- Seeing other couples announce their pregnancies or post pictures of their babies on social media
When you take a moment to consider it, you don’t necessarily think about pregnancy until you’re actually trying to get pregnant. If you are now struggling with fertility, you may notice constant reminders of both fertility and infertility. Imagine how that can either influence depression and your bond.
How Does Depression Impact Your Life and Intimacy?
Depression may not directly physically affect either of your fertility. Yet, infertility definitely impacts the quality of your life. This, in turn, doesn’t make things any easier as you try to get pregnant.
Of course, there are the usual depression symptoms that occur, such as:
- Lack of energy
- Feeling helpless or hopeless
- Irritability
- Sleep problems
- Trouble eating
- Feeling powerless or out of control
Imagine now trying to get pregnant while coping with all of these symptoms at the same time. It’s not easy and makes family-building even harder.
Fertility Issues Can Weigh on Your Partner Too
Depression and fertility don’t just affect you. Your partner may also struggle with these issues as well in ways that are unique to them. Having trouble with family-building can lead to depressive thinking and helplessness. If they already have depression too, the stress may make it worse.
Additionally, your partner may struggle with seeing you go through fertility treatment. Seeing you subject your body and emotional health to the challenges involved may not be easy on them. If either of you is struggling with depression, your relationship may suffer as well.
How Therapy Helps
Unfortunately, depression and fertility sometimes go hand-in-hand. One influences the other and both influence the dynamics of a relationship. Infertility is much better understood now than in the past, this includes the emotional side of this journey. Help from a professional who understands the links between depression, family-building, and maintaining a healthy relationship can be invaluable support. If the struggle to build a family is weighing on your relationship, please don’t hesitate to seek out compassionate couples therapy.
