They say that friendship is the strongest foundation of a relationship. It’s not really possible to disagree with that because it truly is. However, a strong foundation for a healthy relationship involves more than just being friends—things like honesty and respect, for instance. And, most importantly, trust.
Without trust in a relationship, it’s hard for it to grow and prosper. But it’s sometimes hard to learn to trust when we carry so much baggage from the past with us.
Why Is Trust So Important?
Imagine that you are dating someone, and they pick up their phone. They read a text and smile without saying a word. Curiosity eats at you, and suddenly, you hear yourself asking, “What’s that about?” “Oh, it’s just a text from my buddy,” they say. You want to believe them, but you don’t. Imagine how chaotic this type of distrust can become in a relationship.
This is just one example of trust in a relationship, but it sets a pretty clear example of what distrust is. When you trust your partner and their words, you aren’t second-guessing them. You’re secure enough in the relationship that you don’t doubt they are being truthful. It’s the faith that they will remain loyal and true to you, keeping your best interests at heart. Trust goes beyond having faith that they won’t stray romantically.
How To Build Trust When Dating
Practice Forgiveness
Even when there is trust in a relationship, we’ll end up making mistakes. We do things to make our partners mad, and they do the same. But if your partner admits when they were wrong or messed up or acknowledges they hurt you in some way, learn to forgive them.
You should never hold on to past fights, or words said and save them as future ammunition. This is a great way to build trust because you accept that you are both flawed and making the best of a situation.
Listen To Each Other
When your partner is talking to you, make sure you are actively listening to them. They should feel comfortable enough (and you with them) to be able to talk openly about worries and frustrations without judgment. As they are expressing something that is on their mind, be their safe space to do so.
Don’t Break Promises
When you tell one another you will do something, don’t go against that promise. And don’t make a promise that you don’t intend to keep or you think will go unnoticed if you don’t. And don’t say something will happen just to keep them happy. This is crucial when building trust because you will know that their word (or yours) will be kept.
Show Interest In Each Other’s Hobbies
You two could be completely different from one another. Yet, despite these differences, you should still make an effort to show interest. Even if you have no interest in that hobby or activity, show you care by asking them about it. You don’t have to fake your own interest, but showing you care about something they care about can go a long way.
These are just a few basic ways to build trust when you are dating. We could create a whole post series on different ideas of how to build trust in a relationship. Trust, no matter what stage you are with dating, a relationship, or marriage, is the foundation of its success.
If you are struggling to learn how to trust in a relationship, reach out to me for couples counseling or individual therapy. Together, I can help you build the skills needed to make the most of your relationship; let’s connect soon.
