The holidays can be a difficult time for making your relationship a priority.
That’s ironic, considering we hear so much about how the holidays are about family and spending time with others.
However, the holidays can also be the breaking point for couples needing to seek couples counseling. Perhaps it’s because so much is at stake during this time, such as making good impressions on others or getting the right gifts.
If you and your partner find yourselves struggling, consider these three strategies for ensuring that you prioritize your relationship during the holidays.
1. Anticipate Any Potential Rough Patches
One of the nice things about being in a relationship is that you have someone who can
stand with you when things get rough during the holidays. For example, do you struggle with annoying relatives or need help with the holiday planning?
Your partner can brainstorm with you how to handle potential rough patches or issues that may occur. By doing this together you can both keep these issues on your “radar.” That way, if they do come up, they won’t be a surprise to either of you. If necessary, write down your thoughts together so that you both have something to refer back to later.
2. Think Ahead to Solutions
Next, once you have identified potential stressors during the holidays, it’s time to think ahead about what you can both do about them.
For example, let’s say that you know there will be this one relative whose outspoken political opinions cause you stress. Your partner can be aware of this problem and help “rescue” you from the conversation. Or maybe you know that, no matter what you do, your relatives are going to cause you both stress. Instead of letting that stress come out at each other, agree to process and discuss the emotions you are both feeling.
By knowing what to do ahead of time, you will be able to mitigate potential conflict with your relatives and between the two of you.
3. Fix the Damage Before It Gets Worse
No matter what you do to consider potential problems and solutions, though, there will probably always be slip-ups. Maybe the stress of the holidays is getting to you, and you snap at your partner. Or your partner makes a mistake and is inconsiderate of your feelings.
However it happens, make sure that you both fix the damage before it gets worse. Surely, neither of you wants to face the holidays bitter and resentful of each other. That’s why fixing the damage as soon as possible is so important.
What If You Need More Help?
If you think that you both will need more help with making your relationship a priority, it’s time to consider couples counseling. A therapist will be able to help you both through this process and support you as the holidays come closer. They can teach you communication skills that each of you will be able to use in the moment to process and cope with the stress of the holidays.
At the very least, it’s reassuring to know that you are not alone in making your relationship a priority. A therapist is someone who understands the intricacies of relationships and gets how the holidays, in particular, can be harmful to couples. And they are willing to help!
So, are you worried about making your relationship a priority during the holidays?
It’s not as hard as you might think. However, it does take a commitment from both of you to be willing to do the work. Having some thoughtful foresight can really help. And, if things do go wrong being able to patch up the damage quickly and intentionally will ensure that you both can survive the holidays.
Above all, don’t hesitate to utilize couples counseling so that you can ensure that the process works. Learn more about my approach HERE.
