The holidays are a joyous time for many people. It’s the time of year when we reflect on the past, express gratitude for everything we have, and reunite with family and friends we don’t get to see too often.

As much as we may enjoy being around family during the holidays, we have to admit one thing to ourselves — they can be seriously frustrating! You get together with them, and inevitably, someone says or does something to make someone mad. What starts as a normal dinner party ends with a loud debate over politics, religions, or who knows what else.

Then, you might have family members who feel the need to belittle you or make you feel guilty for not being at a certain point in your life. Not married yet? No kids? Still at the same job? They’ll have their opinions on your life and feel the need to give advice that, quite frankly, wasn’t asked for.

Does this all sound familiar? Let’s talk about how to deal with frustrating members during the holiday.

Differing Opinions Are Okay

Your family member just said something that really aggravates you and goes against the core of what you believe. You feel the heat rising inside you, and you can’t help but feel as if your head is spinning. The first step to dealing with frustrating family members is to try and remain calm when you hear something you don’t like.

Yes, they are family, and you are united in your shared heritage and connections. But that does not mean that your viewpoints will align the same. Remember that differing opinions are okay. Now, that may not mean that what they think is okay. However, what this means is that each of us comes from different experiences and backgrounds. Remembering this will help you stay calm, even if you disagree wholeheartedly.

Walk Away

Someone is going on relentlessly about how they think this political candidate is the best choice. You feel your blood rising because you couldn’t disagree more. When you are part of a conversation that just isn’t going anywhere, try not to engage. The truth is, no matter how much you try to convince someone that their viewpoint is warped, it isn’t going to change a thing.

Instead of talking to a brick wall, walk away from the conversation. You can physically walk away or say something like, “I’m sorry, but I just don’t agree with you on this matter. Can we please change the subject?” Saying that will help prevent things from getting too heated.

Set Realistic Expectations

Let’s face it: we all have a picturesque idea of what the holidays should look like—gathered around the table, laughing and reminiscing. A lot of hugs, kisses, and fun family photos galore. And that may be what it will look like for the most part. But nothing screws us up more in life than when we have high expectations.

You don’t want to go into a family gathering expecting it to turn out badly. That will likely influence your mood to be negative right from the get-go. Instead, be realistic about your expectations. If you know that certain family members will likely argue, it probably won’t hurt to expect and prepare for that.

Show Gratitude

Above all else, show gratitude towards these moments. They are frustrating to deal with, for sure. At the end of the day, though, family is one of the strongest connections we will ever have in this life. Embrace the quirkiness, bizarre, and annoying parts of family, and you may find that the holiday gatherings aren’t as bad as they can seem.

Reach out to learn more about anxiety therapy to help you manage your feelings towards family during the holiday season.