Congratulations! You’re a new parent. And along with that new “bundle of joy,” you’ve probably also been getting a lot of new parent advice.

Maybe some of it’s useful, and maybe some advice seems as though it isn’t quite right for you. How can you really tell the difference? Especially when it comes to staying close as a couple?

New parent challenges are hard on any couple. There’s the practical side (the lack of sleep) and the romantic side (keeping that spark alive in your relationship).

Here is some proven advice for new parents that can help you and your partner stay close and communicative throughout this new chapter in your lives.

Start Scheduling Now!

One practical piece of new parent advice is to up your scheduling game. Creating both a daily and weekly schedule is important because routine is important for relationship success.

Why? You might think that scheduling makes things boring. Actually, it’s quite the opposite! A schedule allows you both to know when dedicated time is available for just for the two of you. When you know all of your commitments, you know where and how to free up time. To do this, try the following:

• Create blocks of time reserved for work (meetings, correspondence, conference calls).
• Set aside time for each of you as individuals (to read, workout, etc).
• Plan meals ahead of time with time set aside for shopping and prep.
• Reserve time for appointments, errands, etc.

Use a digital tool to manage these times. Then, you and your partner can “plug-in” moments that are just for the two of you. Do this each week to create consistent couples time in addition to your other responsibilities.

Gratitude and Friendship

Two important building blocks for the foundation of any relationship are gratitude and friendship. Your partner is more than a co-parent. You fell in love before you became parents.

People often refer to their partners as their best friends. The person they can count on, for better or worse. Like any friendship, you need to put in the work to keep it healthy and vibrant. One way to do this is gratitude. For example:

• Tell your partner thank-you when they do a chore or task.
• Show how much you appreciate all that they do with a small token or gift.
• Tell them, and others, how much you love them.
• Reach out to them physically often just to connect.

These are those little moments that your partner might not expect but make a world of difference to your bond.

Dividing Household Tasks

Chores and tasks will be a constant sticking point for your relationship, especially now that you are both parents. Some helpful new parent advice includes dividing up the housework in an equitable manner. This is not a stand-alone discussion. Rather, it requires constant communication.

Perhaps this week, your partner will take on most of the meal preparation and baby duties. You could run errands and clean the house. The following week, those roles may be reversed. If each of you has been fulfilling the same duties for a while, mix it up as a sign of goodwill. Make sure both of you have a chance to do everything.

New Parent Advice: Your Relationship is Still Important

With a new baby in the home, there is an understandable tendency to make your child the focus of your world. That makes sense to a degree at first. However, continuing to do so means putting your relationship at a disadvantage. A lack of attention inevitably causes friction and resentment.

Although it can be difficult at times, do your best to find a balance between your baby’s needs and the needs of the relationship. That might be easier said than done, but don’t give up. If you feel that your relationship isn’t where you want it to be, ask for help. Couples counseling can be a source of support as you begin a new stage of your relationship.

 

Again, there is a lot of new parent advice out there. It can be confusing to tell what is helpful and what isn’t. Experimenting with different ideas can, in itself, be a bonding experience. Remember, this a transition, if you can stay patient and open-minded, staying close is possible. Overcoming new parent and relationship challenges can actually bring you closer.

Still, do know that if you’re having trouble, couples counseling is a wise next move. Please don’t hesitate to reach out. Read more about how couples counseling can support you. I’m here to help.