It can be a real struggle to cope with panic attacks. The fear, anxiety, and emotional distress are overwhelming.
It’s especially hard if you are watching your loved one have a panic attack. You want to help, but it always seems as if your efforts are futile.
Is there anything that you can do that’s actually useful? The answer is yes!
If you want to provide support when a panic attack strikes a loved one, there are many things that you can do. Consider the following seven ways you can help your loved one get through a panic attack.
1. Learn to Recognize the Signs of a Panic Attack
First, it’s important that you know and recognize the signs of a panic attack. These can include:
- Sweating
- Elevated heart rate
- Rapid and shallow breathing
- A sense of imminent danger
- Shaky hands
- Distractedness
- Fear
If you want to provide help when a loved one is experiencing a panic attack, it’s critical that you not only know what the common symptoms, but also which symptoms affect your loved one in particular.
For example, perhaps their panic attack signs are more subtle. Instead of sweating a lot or trembling, they appear distracted and even confused. That’s your signal to step in and help.
2. Stay Calm Yourself
Next, if your loved one is having a panic attack you need to be able to stay calm yourself. This might be hard at first. It can be distressing to see someone you deeply care about in distress.
However, with time, you will be able to create some separation from your emotions and your loved one’s anxiety. Remember, you can’t be helpful if both of you are having an anxiety or stress-related response.
3. Be Present and Listen
Perhaps one of the best things that you can do is to be present and listen to your loved one. You can do this without getting drawn into the drama that is creating the anxiety.
Pay attention to what your loved one is saying and reflect what you heard back to them. This helps them to recognize that you do understand and are taking them seriously.
4. Relate to Their Experience
It may be hard for you to relate to what your loved one is going through. This makes sense, especially if you have never had to struggle with an anxiety attack yourself.
However, there may have been times when you did feel anxious or powerless and helpless in certain situations. Use those experiences to connect the dots for what your loved one is feeling. It may not be at the same level. But using examples from your own life will help you to understand where your loved one is coming from.
5. Be Reassuring and Encouraging
In the moments when a panic attack strikes, it’s really useful if you are reassuring and encouraging. We’ve all been in situations when kind and upbuilding words helped.
When an anxiety attack strikes it can help your loved one to know that you’re by their side and everything will be alright. That’s because there is a part of their brain that says that they are in danger or there’s a threat when actually there isn’t—they just can’t see that. A little support will go a long way towards resolving their anxiety.
6. Redirect Their Attention
Sometimes all that’s needed is a little redirection for helping a loved one with a panic attack. This isn’t the same as distraction. Rather, it’s helping them shift their focus from something that causes distress to something neutral or even pleasing.
Keep in mind that people with chronic anxiety will tend to hyper-focus on the source of that anxiety and their feelings. This means that they exclude everything else.
Some examples of redirection include:
- Changing the conversation
- Going for a walk
- Singing a song
- Paying a game
- Being silly
7. Stick with Them
Finally, to provide help when a panic attack strikes, stick with your loved one. Don’t dismiss their feelings, tell them they are being ridiculous, or walk away. This only reinforces their distress.
What they need in that moment is knowing someone “has their back.” Simply being present and engaged will mean a lot to them.
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Providing help with panic attacks can take many forms. However, in the end, the goal remains the same: helping a loved one any way you can to deal with the anxiety. You may also want to encourage them to get professional help. If you would like to know more about my approach to anxiety treatment, please feel free to contact me.