Every night you get about eight hours of sleep. All the studies you’ve read recommend roughly that amount for adults, so that should be plenty for you.
Yet, for some reason, you still feel exhausted all the time.
Why is this?
The fact is that there may be other issues at work. For instance, if you have children, parental exhaustion may cause you and your partner to feel tired even when you’re getting plenty of rest.
It’s a real issue, not a farce! But what can you do?
Here are some thoughts for couples with kids about the issues that cause parental exhaustion and what you can do to alleviate your tiredness.
Not Enough Hours in the Day
One big problem with parental exhaustion that couples with children face is lack of time. That’s because there are so many things that occupy your time during the day. It never seems to end.
For example:
- Pickup and drop-off at school
- Doctor’s appointments
- Filling out paperwork
- Attending sports events, recitals, plays, etc.
- Work!
- All the other household tasks that need to be done
You’re busy! But isn’t everybody? Sure. But don’t you hear everyone also talking about how tired they are?
When you are so swamped with work and tasks on your to-do list, that’s really overwhelming. It also makes it much more difficult to relax and feel more at ease. That, in turn, can affect how rested you feel, no matter how many hours you slept.
Varying Wake-Up Times
Another reason why you might not feel rested is if you wake up at different times over the course of the week. For example, let’s say that you wake-up at 5:30 on weekdays. This is so that you can both get the kids ready for school or daycare, as well as prep for work. But on the weekends, you decide to take a break and sleep in.
These time changes throughout the week will make it harder for you to feel rested. While it may feel counterintuitive, instead of sleeping in on the weekend, choose a consistent wake-up time that you can stick to every day. A steady routine helps calm your nervous system.
Relaxation Time Isn’t Relaxing
Parental exhaustion can also occur when you can’t relax and unwind. For instance, it would be great if you could sit down and watch the game on Saturday morning. However, in between plays you are sending emails to teachers or filling out that permission slip for the upcoming field trip.
What happens then is that your relaxation time isn’t really relaxing. You are instead either doing tasks that need to get done for the kids or you are doing work from your job that you had to put aside earlier in the week.
What Can Couples with Kids Do About Parental Exhaustion?
There are several things that parents can do to feel rested.
For example:
- Pick a consistent bedtime and wake-up time. Do your best to stick to that schedule.
- Use bright light therapy in the morning to cope with those early morning wake-up times.
- Take a quick nap in the afternoon that’s no more than 20-40 minutes long.
- Do something fun that’s just for yourself.
If you have tried these ideas and are still feeling tired, ask for professional help. Talk to a counselor who understands this unique problem. First of all, it helps just to be able to vent to someone who will understand what you are facing. And secondly, you can find solutions together that will work for your particular situation.
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Couples with kids have so much on their plates. Even those who seem like super-hero parents are struggling with exhaustion. However, there are several things that couples can do to cope with parental exhaustion.
If you feel exhausted all the time and just don’t know what to do, please consider contacting me to talk about couples counseling, especially if you notice that the stress is causing strain on your relationship.
