From the time we begin dating as teenagers or young adults, we are riddled with anxiety over it.
What if this relationship fails. What if I get cheated on again? Will we end up breaking up over a fight?
The list, unfortunately, can go on and on. There are so many things in life to be worried about, and the relationships we find ourselves in are no exception. Even in marriages, there can be anxiety happening underneath the surface.
Relationship anxiety is actually very common. It can affect many people, regardless of their age or the status and label behind their relationship.
What Is Relationship Anxiety?
Relationship anxiety is a subcategory of Generalized Anxiety Disorders. At some point, everyone will have questions or worries over their relationship. However, while it is common, it can be chronic for many people.
What Are The Signs Of Relationship Anxiety?
- Extreme jealousy
- Neediness or clinginess
- Trying to “test” the partner or loved one with their true affections
- A constant need for reassurance
How Does Relationship Anxiety Begin?
We all carry certain things from the past with us. We all want to be able to say that we are over the past. However, this isn’t always the case. Relationship anxiety can begin for many reasons, including:
- Negative dating experiences from adolescence.
- Early childhood attachments that were negative.
- Poor self-esteem.
- Fear of being vulnerable with your partner.
- Fear of rejection or abandonment.
Any of those those things can contribute to relationship anxiety. While you question the quality of the relationship, it may cause the relationship to be unhealthy or toxic. However, none of this means that the relationship won’t work. There are ways to improve the relationship.
How To Overcome Relationship Anxiety
It is more than possible to stop this anxiety from taking over your life. The first step in this process is to begin taking the control back. And this starts with your inner healing. We depend on our partners for so much. However, certain things need to begin from within ourselves. It’s unrealistic to expect our partner to improve our mental health all the time. The first step is to acknowledge that you have this going on. You can’t expect to heal what you don’t accept. There is nothing wrong with admitting to ourselves that we are getting in our own way.
Ask Yourself Why You Feel This Way
Take a look at your past. Was someone unfaithful to you? Could this be causing you to question your partner’s motives? Did you not have the best relationship with a caregiver? Are you unable to trust or be vulnerable with your partner for fear of rejection? Sometimes, looking back at the past can give us the answers we seek in the present.
Don’t Make Assumptions
This may be one of the biggest things that cause relationship anxiety. Instead of asking questions or bringing up concerns, we make assumptions. We assume someone is cheating because that has been our experience in the past. We make ourselves believe that they are mad at us when in reality, they are just distracted because of work.
Communication is key when it comes to relationships. Assume less and ask more. This is a sign of a healthy functioning relationship—when you can approach your partner about things that are bothering you. Never assume they know what is happening inside your head, either.
If you are struggling to overcome relationship anxiety, couples counseling can help you move past this. As a licensed counselor, I am here to help with the toughest issues people face in relationships, so let’s connect.
