Has your relationship taken an unexpected turn for the worse?
Maybe feelings of love and hope have been replaced with confusion and fear.
In the midst of these complex emotions, one stands out from the rest — doubt. If you’re like most people who find themselves in a relationship with a possible narcissist then you may have started to wonder if your partner is even the same person you fell for in the beginning. To help you in your search for answers, here are five signs that will help you determine if you’re entangled with a narcissist.
Five Signs Your Partner is a Narcissist
1. Charming and Then Not
Like a stealthy snake, narcissists are usually very covert. They hide who they truly are until they’ve got you hooked.
With intense romance and pressure for quick involvement, they tend to put you on a pedestal from day one. In short, narcissists are very charming in the beginning. It’s how they woo you into their web.
Eventually, you will come crashing down from your imaginary pedestal through no fault of your own.
An action, opinion, or even a shared thought will rub your partner the wrong way. From this negative encounter, you may find yourself taking unnecessary blame or even being responsible for your parent’s happiness.
A narcissist will do his or her best to make you feel like everything would be fine if you would just change.
2. Actions and Words Don’t Align
In a relationship, especially a romantic one, you want to be able to trust your partner. This isn’t something you’re going to be able to do when you’re with a narcissist, though.
Many narcissists are pathological liars who consistently break their promises.
Your partner might even try to rewrite history and recall past events very differently than they occurred. A narcissist commonly attempts to make his or her partner doubt their own sanity with this little trick.
Also, narcissists are rarely serious about being committed. Rather, they like to keep you guessing on a roller coaster ride of emotions.
3. Modern Day Machiavelli
Much like Machiavelli from the Renaissance, your partner might view him or herself as an exception to rules or even the law. A narcissist will often live above the law.
They are very entitled and believe they deserve better treatment from society than everyone else.
Because of this pseudo superiority, your partner may make all the decisions for you because he or she “knows what’s best for you.”
For instance, how you dress, what hobbies you keep, and what you value might be under constant scrutiny by the narcissist.
4. Walk on Eggshells
If your partner is a narcissist then it’s likely that he or she doesn’t handle any form of disappointment or rejection very well.
When you don’t do what a narcissist wants, think the way they want you to, or give them what they want, they view this as disrespectful — like a personal attack.
You might have experienced your partner throwing temper tantrums, giving you the silent treatment or disappearing altogether, playing the victim, and even pointing a blaming finger at you.
For partner’s of narcissists, walking on eggshells becomes a daily routine. You may have noticed that you avoid certain topics or think twice before you speak out of fear your partner will erupt.
5. You’ve Become Isolated
One of the most common tactics of a narcissist is to isolate his or her victim. You are less likely to stand up for yourself when you feel alone and have no support around you.
One way a narcissist will do this to you is by attempting to convince you that your friends and family are no longer a good influence on you.
Since the narcissist knows best, as we established earlier, it’s easy to fall for this ploy. He or she will candy coat this tactic by claiming you need protection from the outside world.
Even running errands becomes a suspicious event to a narcissist partner. You might find that you’re required to get permission to leave the house or attend social events. Eventually, you may not be permitted to leave the house at all.
Dealing with a narcissistic partner can be very difficult and even debilitating. If you’re looking for help to navigate your way through this unique situation, please feel free to contact me. I’d be happy to talk with you about your options and to jumpstart your recovery.
