Maybe you feel like there is something consistently in the way of you achieving your full potential.
It’s your “thing.”
For you, this could be self-destructive behaviors or habits, or even just a way of thinking. Perhaps you’re not even sure what it is, but you feel slightly off-kilter and know there is something negative holding you back.
Identifying what your “thing” is can be challenging.
In taking an introspective look at yourself, it can be a huge temptation only to point one negative out after another. But your introspective aim isn’t to expose what’s wrong with you. The goal of looking inward is to empower yourself.
Here’s how to spot your “thing” and what to do about it.
Why You Can’t Always Count on Your Brain
If you’re like most people, you depend on the past to guide you on what you need to adjust in your character development. Sometimes, this isn’t the best approach.
Although your brain is amazing, it can be amazing to a fault. What I mean by this is that it’s not uncommon for your memories to not be entirely trustworthy. For instance, many people’s memories are altered to support a certain perception. Memories have even been known to shift and even distort to recall a situation in a particular way.
The funny thing about humans is that we’ll believe our brains over fact or blatant evidence. Some people like to call this phenomenon following their gut feeling. But no matter what you call it, depending solely on your brain to point you away from self-destructive behaviors and habits can lead you in circles.
What Exactly Are Self-Destructive Behaviors?
Knowing your brain can be a shifty character, it’s time to take a closer look at self-destructive behaviors. What exactly is it?
Typically, a self-destructive behavior originates as a mindset and expresses itself in your actions or behavior. More often than not, you are blind to both the mindset and even the way you’re acting.
The rotten thing about self-destructive behavior is that it can hold you back in all areas of your life, personally and professionally. Negatively impacting your relationships and slowing down any attempts at self-improvements.
It’s almost like a leach. It sort of sucks the life out of you without you even knowing it.
And further still, many people can see this behavior affecting you but not a lot of people have the green light to call you out on it. So, there exists the potential you remain blind to it for a very long time.
How Does a High Emotional Intelligence Benefit You?
You likely know that having a high intelligence quotient doesn’t mean you’re automatically a genius. It does, however, mean you have that potential.
Being emotionally intelligent is a lot like having a high IQ in that you have the know-how to navigate many of life’s circumstances with emotional finesse and maturity. In a lot of ways, emotional intelligence is a deeper sense of self-awareness.
Being emotionally intelligence means performing better at work, having stronger relationships, and simply being more creative in general.
Though, there is a problem with emotional intelligence. There’s a small window of opportunity. Meaning, you have to go about it correctly or all your efforts will be in vain.
The Secret Is to Ask Yourself the Right Questions
To achieve high emotional intelligence, you have to genuinely look inward and examine yourself realistically. To be more precise, you have to ask yourself the right question. And the right question is: “What?”
If you think about your most introspective moments, there’s a good chance you’re asking yourself why questions.
- Why do you feel this way?
- Why did you behave like that?
- And why does that bother you?
The problem with asking yourself why questions is that it often prompts negative thoughts and feelings that tend to stick around. In other words, you ruminate on your character weaknesses.
Rather than inviting in self-depraving thoughts, stay objective and focused on how positive your future can be by asking yourself what questions. So, for example, instead of trying to figure out why you feel the way you do, ask yourself what you feel?
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If you’re struggling with self-destructive behaviors and would like help navigating your blind spot, please contact me. I’d be happy to help you quickly reach your therapeutic goals.
