In the early stages of a relationship, there is no way to be certain that someone is right for you. But these are some ways to know for sure that a person is wrong for you.

• Lies a lot
• Has multiple excuses for coming late, or forgetting dates
• Seems distracted, instead of paying attention to you
• Initially tells you that he (or she) is not married, but you find out that he (or she) is
• Has serious lapses of attention, forgetting birthdays or other special occasions
• Is preoccupied with his (her) own needs
• Doesn’t return phone calls; instead offers lame excuses
• Is physically or verbally abusive, even if it happens only one time and even if they apologize or say they were “just kidding”
• Puts you down and belittles your thoughts and opinions
• Evades telling you where he’s been or with whom he’s spent time
• Can’t keep a job or has a history of employment difficulties
• Won’t allow you to make your own decisions
• Is suspicious about where you’ve been or with whom you’ve spent time
• Is addicted to drugs, pornography, or Internet chat rooms
• Seems bothered every time you call or make a request
• Depends on you to do all the planning or paying for any activities you do together
• Uses guilt to manipulate your feelings
• Blames you or others for anything that goes wrong
• Frequently gives you the silent treatment or withdraws when you try to discuss problems
• Engages in shady or criminal behavior

You might be able to experience some excitement and good times with a person who exhibits these warning signs, but such relationships rarely last. Don’t put eggs in this basket.