Sometimes space is hard to come by.

There are times when you want to be close to your partner and be held by them. At other times, though, you may wish they’d just step away and give you your space.

Miscommunication of these needs can create confusion, resentment, and bitterness.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. You can get the space you need while, at the same time, balance togetherness and individuality in your relationship. And even if your partner has trouble giving space, it’s still possible for both your needs to be met.

So, why not learn more about how to get space in your relationship.

Creating a Balanced and Healthy Relationship

A relationship doesn’t have to be constrained to both partners being exactly the same and always together.

In fact, in a healthy relationship, both partners should have their own, individual identities. That includes differences in such things as hobbies, politics, spiritual beliefs, life experiences, and work.

Hence, the term: partners.

You are two individuals who are sharing their lives together. This also means that, at times, you will each want your own personal space.

The Meaning of Personal Space

Usually, the term personal space refers to the physical space around your body. For instance, your partner wants to give you a hug, but you’re just not feeling it right now. Therefore, you rather not have them enter “your space” and touch you.

Another example might be that you or your partner may need time and space to focus on your own interests, which includes a physical separation. Such as, your partner would like to spend the afternoon tinkering in the basement on a project while you are outside in the garden.

The idea is that you are both differentiating yourselves from one another. And that’s okay!

In fact, it’s important to have not just your own interest. It’s also important for either you or your partner to know that at times you need your own space. But, how do you get that message across effectively and compassionately?

Pay Attention to both Verbal and Non-Verbal Communication

One way couples can know when it’s the right time to be close is by paying attention to verbal and non-verbal communication.

For example, if you notice that your partner moves away when you reach out to touch them, that could be a sign. Or perhaps, you tell your partner that right now you don’t want to be held.

Of course, it’s also critical that both of you listen to one another and respect each other’s boundaries.

Have Conversations about Space in Your Relationship

Having conversations about space in your relationship is also important. Ask each other what does having “your space” look like for you.

For instance, when you get home from work, you would like a few minutes alone to unwind before discussing your day. But, how would your partner know this unless you communicate it to them?

Otherwise, miscommunication occurs which creates assumptions and even conflict.

Know the Best Time to Communicate

It’s not just important to have a talk about your personal space, but know when to have it as well.

Needing space in your relationship is not a subject for when emotions are heated and an argument could occurring. Someone may say the wrong thing that hurts the other’s feelings. Which, in turn, only makes the situation more difficult to resolve.

Rather, have this discussion when both of you are calm and you can effectively communicate as well as listen to one another.

Respect the Boundary

Finally, if you are the partner who is being told they need to give space, listen and respect your partner’s boundaries. Don’t take it personally!

At the same time, be attuned to your partner’s needs and talk about other ways to show affection that don’t require being physically close. Remember, listening and being in tune with your partner are keys for any successful relationship.

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Asking and giving space requires that both partner balance togetherness and individuality. If you or your partner need more space in your relationship but feel that you are not able to get it, consider seeking out couples counseling. Please, don’t hesitate to contact me.