Some people call it a stagnant relationship. Others call it being “stuck in a rut.” Couples notoriously get tunnel vision and hyper-focus on growing together. This is natural when a relationship is just beginning. After a while, though, the sparkles wear off, and some couples forget to refocus on personal growth while still connecting as partners. Signs that your relationship has gone flat are:
- Missing each other when you’re in the same room
- Everything feels less exciting
- Sex is no longer interesting
If your romantic connection with your partner has gone static, there are strategies you can use to reconnect.
Focus on meaningful communication (with each other and your friends)
Humans are inborn with a powerful need for connection. When your communication falters and your relationships start to feel boring, it has a profound effect on your overall happiness. If you feel bored with your partner, give yourselves time to miss one another. Instead of sitting in the same room with your significant other while you both scroll on social media, reconnect with a friend over coffee or a beer. It might even give you something new to talk about with your partner.
Remember to communicate with your partner about how you’re feeling. If you both know how the other is feeling, you can tackle any issues together. This meaningful conversation is an essential part of rebuilding your connection. Speak with kindness and respect and listen intently to what they have to say. Active listening skills are another integral part of connection. If you’re daydreaming or trying to remember what you want to say, you’re missing what your partner wants to tell you.
Do something new together
After you’ve been with someone for an extended time, it can feel like you just have nothing left to talk about. Try an escape room together or choose a book to buddy-read. Learning something new together is an opportunity to understand your partner’s unique perspective on things. You can compare and contrast what you learned from a book or class with what your partner learned. Attempting an escape room or playing a new-to-you board game with friends gives you something fun and new to talk about.
Another way to use new experiences to reconnect is to let your partner teach you something new or vice versa. This gives you a chance to pick their brain and gain a better understanding of what they enjoy as an individual. Making your partner either your teacher or your student also means you’ll be working through excitement and frustration together. It’s a great way to work on your communication skills.
Change the scenery
If you spend all of your time as a couple in your apartment watching Netflix, things will eventually get boring. Try hiking one of your favorite trails in the park or taking a walk around your neighborhood. Meet up together for lunch instead of eating at work.
Changing the scenery of your sex life is helpful too. Get out of the bedroom and have sex in a different part of the house. Ask your partner about their sexual fantasies and talk about how to make them real. You may discover a new side of them!
Reconnecting with your partner can feel like a monumental undertaking, especially for a busy couple. Neither of you has to do it alone. Mental wellness requires regular support, just like your physical wellness. Couples counseling doesn’t have to wait until your relationship is in crisis. Speaking with a counselor or therapist about ways you can reignite your excitement with one another can be a great way to bolster your faith in each other and your future together. Please read more about couples counseling and reach out for a consultation today.
