Unless you’ve discovered the fountain of youth, there’s a good chance that age has already taken you by the hand and danced you through a few life changes.

The changes to which I’m referring aren’t so much in the form of gray hairs, extra pounds, or new family additions. More than anything, time and age change the way you handle treasured friendships.

Maybe you’d really like to stay in touch with your good friend from your school days, but it just doesn’t happen. After a few months or even years, you go to reach out only to realize that you feel bad for not reaching out sooner.

To avoid that scenario, here are a few tips on how to keep your treasured friendships flourishing.

1. Know What to Expect Early On

Relationships tend to function more proficiently when each party knows what to expect from the other. And, it doesn’t take mounds of time to set up expectations.

For instance, this especially rings true in terms of availability. Rather than leave them guessing and possibly feeling rejected, communicate to your friends the amount of time that you’ll be unavailable.

Maybe you’re busy on the weekends, are planning a month-long business trip, or have a deadline that will be taking up much of your time for the next few weeks. Keep your friend in the loop and they’ll likely be more accepting of your limitations.

2. Make the Little Things Count

Like the aforementioned scenario, you’ve probably felt bad about letting so much time pass between connecting with your treasured friendships. You might be lost on what to even say, so you settle for a generic text or email saying they’re in your thoughts.

While this is a thoughtful gesture, it doesn’t motivate any kind of authentic feedback from them. In fact, it’s sort of just a blanket statement that usually just drops off.

Rather than resorting to a superficial statement, ask about a specific part of their life. Their question or comment should nurture an ongoing conversation. Granted, the ongoing conversation might carry on over several months, but that’s exactly the point.

3. Embrace the Set Patterns

If you’re like most people, you have a busy life. That’s par for the “adulting” course. What this means is that time and distance might not allow you to have lunch with your friend every week. So, do the next best thing. Embrace tradition.

If there exists a certain event at which you always have the chance to connect with treasured friendships, then go for it. Rather than leaving your connection up to chance, make that event your time to reconnect with them.

Also, double up on the activities. Go to yoga with a friend or join the same club. Taking advantage of those opportunities will check two things off your to-do list.

4. Reevaluate Your Time

Sometimes you might feel busier than you actually are. Feeling busy and being busy are actually two different things.

So, before you declare yourself “too busy” to connect with your treasured friendships, evaluate how you spend your time. You might just find that you are wasting a lot of time doing something that isn’t as important as your friends. Things like social media often fit this category.

Also, the broad excuse of being “too busy” can sound like a blow off, which might cause your friends to feel rejected.

5. Be the Expected Unexpected

Treasured friendships don’t just happen. They’re built. And, they remain treasured because of how you maintain them.

Although you might not be able to be at every event in your friend’s life like you were able to when you were younger, make it to the big ones. Be sure to show up at special milestones to truly make a positive impact. Things like retirement parties, anniversaries, and birthdays are all very influential.

Those things don’t take loads of time from your schedule, but the gesture can touch your friends straight to the core.

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If you’d like to learn to better nurture your treasured friendships, then please reach out to me. I would be happy to help you reestablish and maintain your relationships with all your cherished friends.