There’s that shapely beauty.
Her voluptuous curves, the depth of her eyes framed by her long, dark lashes, and the way her hair flows over her bare shoulders fire your imagination.
There’s that manly hunk.
When he flexes his muscles, a wave of heat washes over you. You become mesmerized, unable to tear your gaze away from his physique.
Don’t lie!
We’ve all been there before.
Just admit it. Looks do matter!
It’s a proven fact that most of us are drawn to physical appearance first.
However, there is more to human attraction than there appears to be “at first sight.” Our desires seem to be driven by a web of powerful and complex forces.
The Science of Love – How the Laws of Attraction Supposedly Work
Attraction is a mysterious thing. Why do some people catch our eye and others don’t?
Let’s take a look at what science says are some of the most common factors that influence attraction.
1. Good Looks
While modern media is very biased about what is physically attractive and what is not, finding someone to be “good looking” is actually highly subjective. For most of us, someone only has to be moderately good looking—not out-of-this-world beautiful—to be attractive.
In fact, we usually seek out those who compare closely to our own attractiveness level for romantic relationships. This doesn’t bode well for those that are too beautiful, since they may have a hard time finding an equal.
2. Charisma & Power
Attraction, though, goes beyond just being good looking. It depends much on how a person uses what they have. Components of dynamic attraction—body language, facial expressions, gestures, movements, emotional articulation—play a huge role in how appealing someone is.
They can also speak of power. And a powerful person can be very attractive. Though, at times, charisma doesn’t necessarily come from a good and wholesome power. It can be the dark, brooding, even narcissistic power, of a “bad boy/girl” who doesn’t seem to care about rules or what others want or need.
3. Chemistry
“Having chemistry” truly has much to do with our body’s chemistry. Particularly our brain chemistry. There are four neural systems that form the basis of our personality traits.
A person with dopamine-dominated temperament is curious, adventurous, and creative. Serotonin-influenced people are often conscientious and value rules and traditions. The testosterone-dominant personality tends to be very analytical and strong-willed. And an estrogen-dominated individual is normally nurturing and imaginative.
Researchers say that persons with dopamine and serotonin dominance gravitate to people like themselves, while those with testosterone and estrogen dominance are drawn to each other.
4. Health
In the case of women, health corresponds with youth, since reproductive potency declines after a certain age. At her most fertile point, a woman actually gives off pheromones that make her face appear lovelier and her voice sound more enticing to men. Interestingly, modern society caters to women wanting to stay youthful by selling all sort of products that are supposed to make them look younger—from hair color to cosmetics to girdles.
In the case of men, health corresponds to masculinity—in particular, features that portray an ability to protect, such as physical strength, broad shoulders, or a deep voice. But masculinity can also be communicated through the ability to provide, like a man’s success in highly competitive fields.
5. Intellect
Intelligence can be a very attractive quality. For women, it seems, the brainier the man, the better. Though, it doesn’t quite work like that for men. While they often are attracted to smarts in a woman, there seems to be a limit. Men actually have the tendency to shy away from women that are equally or more intelligent than they are. That illustrates well that, for most of us, how we feel about ourselves plays an important role in how attractive another person may be to us.
The Science of Love – The Laws of Attraction Are NOT Set in Stone
So, perhaps by now, you think you have the science of love all figured out. You evaluated what factors play into your attraction to others and it seems all so clear. You even know your “type” and why you like a particular person.
But wait! Do you truly think it’s that simple?
Attraction is far from dependable. Sometimes there is a spark, sometimes not. At times, it hits us at first sight and, at others, it comes at us nice and slow. On occasion, you can see it coming, yet often, it sneaks up stealthily and unexpected.
There’s really no true predictor to human attraction.
So, are you going to let the inflexible “rules” of the science of love get in your way? Will you that easily surrender control of your love life to the alleged “laws” of attraction? Are they really completely unchangeable?
Absolutely not! You actually have more control over that area of your life than you may think.
For example, you can overcome an unwise infatuation and become attracted to a more sensible choice. And, best of all, you can take steps to improve your chances to attract the right partner. How? – Start with becoming more comfortable with your own body, more confident in your abilities, and spending more time with people who share your interests.
Use your imagination. Be open to the possibilities. And start writing your own laws of attraction and the science of love!
