All across social media, you see friends and strangers alike posting photos from their return to normalcy. It almost feels like someone flipped a switch. Suddenly, there are beach photos and mealtime photos and vacation photos, and just hanging out photos. But you’re nowhere to be found in any of those images.
As usual, it’s hard to discern fact from fiction when scrolling your news feed. Carefully curated photos aside, there are plenty of people still feeling lonely. They haven’t found a way to return to their old habits and patterns. Even their closest friends feel distant.
You May Feel Alone But You Are Definitely Not Alone
Since the lockdowns commenced, many folks have undergone a drastic social shift. Their friendships have fractured or faded. They feel isolated and the numbers back up these feelings. In one study, for example, 40 percent of the participants reported the pandemic having a negative impact on their relationships with family and/or friends. In another survey, 37 percent of people admitted to often going a full day without speaking to anyone in real life or by phone. They tended to be under 35, not married, and in the lower-income bracket.
Translation: The struggle is real. You’re not alone. And with some guidance, you can and will restore your social life after more than a year of confusion and fear.
5 Ways to Restore Your Friendships After the Pandemic
1. Be Patient (but not too patient!)
You do not have to fill your calendar right away. Ease back into action. Accept that may feel out of practice — but so will everyone else. Just be careful to not get into the habit of making excuses in order to stay isolated. It’s a careful balance that will be found after some time.
2. Make the First Move
As the above statistics show, a lot of people are feeling awkward. Don’t assume that an absence of invitations equates to an absence of interest. Reach out. Be proactive in a non-aggressive way. There’s no need to pressure anyone. But there is probably a need for at least one of you to make the first move.
3. Make a Plan
“We should get together” is not a plan. Neither is “I miss you” or “It looks like things are going back to normal.” If you want to see someone, ask them to make a specific plan with you. Even better, talk on video chat while making plans. Seeing each other will likely inspire you to take the next step.
4. Practice Radical Honesty
When you do meet up, trust your friendship. Talk about what you’re feeling. Ask the other people to share their thoughts, too. Encourage an open, honest discussion to help bring back that comfort zone. Everyone has changed a little since March 2020. Respect those changes.
5. Talk About Ground Rules (if necessary)
Meet people where they are at. Find out if anyone has specific requests. Talk openly before meeting about topics like vaccinations, masks, inside or outside, social distancing, and more. Show each other that you respect the many different perspectives that have been created over the past 16 months or so.
When “Lonely & Distant” Have Become Your New Comfort Zone
So much has happened since the early days of the pandemic. It’s enough to cause anyone to lose confidence. You may need to reach out for help before you reach out to friends. Working with a skilled therapist is a proven method for exploring situations like this. Your weekly sessions can serve as a giant step toward restoring friendships and more. Please read more about depression treatment and schedule a confidential consultation today. Let’s talk and get your reconnection process started together.