Relationships are like a balancing act. They require a give and take from both partners. When this give and take is in balance, the relationship, overall, is pretty healthy. In a perfect world, all relationships would have this balance, and it would be smooth sailing.
Unfortunately, there are relationships out there that do not have this balance. A prime example of this would be codependent relationships. These are the types of relationships where one partner takes more than they give. Likewise, the other person may give more than they take.
But the signs of codependency can be hard to spot sometimes. In fact, it is common for people to be surprised when they begin to suspect that they are in a codependent relationship. If you aren’t sure, let’s go over 5 signs of codependent relationships.
1. You Can’t Be Without Them
Most of us want to spend as much time as possible with our partners. But, the difference here is not knowing how to exist without them actively around. This is one of the telltale signs of a codependent relationship. It is when you or they don’t know how to be alone, do things/go places without your partner. One of you may rely heavily on the other person as a constant source of entertainment, comfort, or happiness instead of being able to find all of that individually.
2. One Partners Needs Are Always Put First
A codependent relationship might always be about the other person’s happiness and needs. The whole relationship, in fact, likely revolves around one person being kept happy and content instead of ensuring both partners are. That is not to say that making sure each other is happy is bad. But, if it seems like it’s only about the other person, this could be a red flag of a codependent relationship.
3. You Aren’t Sure What To Say About Your Relationship
There comes a time when most of us doubt our relationships for one reason or another. However, if someone asks you about your relationship and you aren’t sure what to say, this might signify a codependent relationship. This may be because their needs are always being put before your own. So in this process, you have learned not to process your emotions and feelings, leaving you a little tongue-tied when you aren’t sure how to describe your relationship—and not in a good way.
4. You Never Take Time For Yourself
When you do something for yourself, does it make you feel guilty? If you are constantly catering to the needs and wants of another person, you will always be putting yourself last. Self-care, for the non-dependent partner, is virtually unheard of.
5. Wanting To Change The Other Person
We should always want to help our significant others to be better people. To improve and grow for their own personal development. However, if one partner insists on trying to change the other person to fit in closer with their own lifestyle, that is a serious red flag. Nobody should have to change themselves so that their interests, emotions, or thought process fits more closely with the other person.
How To Move Forward If You Are In A Codependent Relationship
If you suspect you are in a codependent relationship, you might not be sure what to do next. While codependency is frustrating to deal with, it does not mean that it is the end of your relationship. In fact, discovering codependency in a relationship can be a fantastic catalyst for positive change. Couples counseling can help you determine the best way to move forward. Let’s connect soon so I can show you how beneficial it can be.
