There are certain things in life we can never really be prepared for. Miscarriages are one of these situations. It doesn’t matter when the miscarriage occurred because the effect on you is all the same. The bond you had with your child is suddenly gone. Not only are you suddenly grieving for the loss of your unborn baby, but for the person they will never get the chance to be.
Miscarriages are challenging to deal with, both physically and mentally. The emotional trauma and turmoil that can come after the loss of a baby are like no other. This often leaves mothers to wonder how they will ever heal from the loss. This is a very personal and complicated time for you right now. The loss you are experiencing is unique to you and your family. There is no right or wrong way to grieve after a miscarriage. However, I would like to offer you some general advice to help you during this time, hopefully.
Your Emotions Are Valid And Should Be Felt
After going through something traumatic, it is common for many people to try to push their feelings aside. We often ignore our feeling, hoping they will just go away. After a miscarriage, you may want to isolate yourself from other people for a day or two. You may be feeling guilty, depressed, sad, or irritable. There is no right or wrong way to feel. There is no emotional rule book to follow after experiencing a miscarriage. Allow yourself to sit with the emotions and give yourself permission to grieve. You’ve experienced loss, and there is an emptiness you will feel. Your feelings are valid, and emotions always demand to be felt.
Create A Memorial
There is no easy way to grieve the loss of anyone, especially the loss of your unborn child. When you are ready, you can create a memorial or item in memory of them. That could be a small statue, a piece of jewelry with their name, or planting a tree in their honor. Little physical memorials, even so, can still be a beautiful reminder of them that you can have with you or on display. They will always be a part of you and your family, even if they are not physically there.
Find A Support Group
Your local hospital systems may run or know of a support group for those who went through a miscarriage. The loss you experienced is unique to you, but that doesn’t mean that you have to go through this alone. Talking with other people who understand grief when it comes to miscarriages can be healing. It can also help you to feel supported and less alone. It can be hard to talk about your loss but knowing there are those around you who feel your pain can help you open up and process your grief.
Talk To Other People
There may be days when you don’t feel like talking to your friends and family. That is to be expected, and there is nothing wrong with just needing time to process this experience on your own. However, you shouldn’t isolate yourself too much, as this can lead to worsening symptoms of depression or anxiety. Even if they can’t understand and can only sympathize, it will help you feel better to vocalize your feelings.
If you aren’t comfortable talking to close friends or family, that’s okay too. As a licensed therapist, I am here to support you and provide you with a space to sit with your feelings and process what you went through. Let’s connect soon to help you with depression treatment.