Watching someone you care for or love struggle with addiction is heartbreaking. Most people think that addiction only truly affects the person battling it. But the truth is, anyone who is close enough to the person going through it is also fighting their own battle.

If you just discovered their usage, you are likely feeling completely blindsided. Maybe you are questioning what signs you overlooked or didn’t pay close enough attention to. Even if you have known for a while, you probably still question a lot in the back of your mind.

If one of these questions is wanting to know how you can help them, you aren’t alone. No matter what the situation is that brings you to this post, you should know that there are ways to help your loved one through addiction. Every person’s situation will be different, but you can use these general ideas as a good rule of thumb.

Don’t Use Accusatory Language With Them

No one purposefully sets out to become addicted. Just like no one chooses to have a terminal illness, nobody intends to become addicted to alcohol or substances. Whether their usage started off innocent, recreational, or just for social hours—addiction is not a choice.

You may be frustrated that they are going through this or feel disappointed that they got on this path. But, you should never place blame on them, specifically. Phrases like, “How could you do this? How could you let this happen?” are never a good idea. Not only will it strain your relationship even further, but it won’t help them overcome the addiction either.

Show Compassion

Show compassion towards your loved one. Addiction is one of the most misunderstood diseases out there. It’s easy to show compassion towards someone struggling with physical illnesses that you can clearly see the effect of. But, unfortunately, mental health struggles and addiction go hand in hand. Mental health concerns are easier to hide. However, in order to cope with issues such as anxiety, depression, or trauma, some people may be willing to try anything to make themselves feel better. You never want to make them feel even worse than they probably already do. Again, it wasn’t a conscious choice they made to become addicted.

Talk About Treatment Options

There is so much stigma surrounding addiction and receiving treatment for it. This often prevents many people from even wanting to consider receiving help. Unless you have gone through it with someone else, you are probably overwhelmed with not knowing the proper resources to begin the treatment process. As much as we want to be able to help our loved ones with their issues, some things are just too challenging to try and deal with on your own. Addiction is one of these things. Knowing the proper places and channels to help them get on the path to recovery is an important step. In many communities, there are so many resources out there that it may feel like too much of a challenge to know which ones will be best.

Working with a licensed counselor can help both you and them in a few ways. First, it will give them the mental health support they need. Addiction is a multi-faceted disease and must be treated in a variety of areas, from mental health, nutrition, and of course, weaning off the substance that they use. When combined with therapy, rehabilitation centers and programs are powerful tools that should not be overlooked.

If your loved one is struggling with addiction, know there is hope. Let’s connect soon for couples counseling to help you both during this time.