Topics about sexual intimacy are already taboo. But when it comes to discussing addiction to sex, most people consider it completely off-limits. However, sex addiction is a bigger problem than most people realize. There is an estimate that close to 3-5% of the adult population is dealing with sex addiction.

Because it is considered an off-limit subject matter, most people wouldn’t even know where to spot the signs of sex addiction. But it is a genuine problem that many people and their spouses or partners have to deal with. An addiction to sex affects not only the person who has it but their relationship as well. It causes stress, tension, and general unhappiness within the relationship. However, learning to overcome an addiction to sex is not impossible. But before we go into how to get help, let’s go over what this is.

Defining Sex Addiction

This is complicated to define. Why? Because there are so many different criteria for how to describe it. Sex addiction is not something that you can easily describe the symptoms of or how it affects those who deal with it. Further complicating matters is how do you define the line between having a healthy sex drive and when that becomes problematic? It’s important to note that sex addiction is not how much they want to have sex or how much pornography they consume. While both of those things can be precursors to sex addiction, they are not the only necessary criteria.

We know enough about it to know how to generally outline what sex addiction is. Here are some signs to look for if you aren’t sure if your spouse or partner has a sex addiction.

silhouette of hands typing on computer6 Signs Of Sex Addiction

  • Sex dominates their life to the point of excluding other activities.
  • Engaging in risky behaviors, such as exhibitionism, public sex, or attending strip clubs frequently.
  • Feelings of regret, shame, or anxiety after engaging in a sexual activity.
  • When alone, they engage in sexual activities by themselves, including watching porn, frequent masturbation, or engaging in computer sex.
  • Being unable to stop themselves from thinking about or engaging in sexual activities.
  • Always needing more from their sexual encounters or activities.

What Causes Sex Addiction?

There is no definitive list of what can cause it. Some people theorize that it is a form of impulse control issue. Or that it is a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder. A growing theory is that it results from experiencing trauma in early childhood or as a teenager, which could include sexual abuse or trauma. Certain mental health concerns list hypersexuality as a symptom. Bipolar disorder, for instance, has hypersexuality as a symptom. And other neurological disorders, such as epilepsy, or a head injury, can cause hypersexual activity to begin.

How To Get Help For Sex Addiction

Treatment for addiction can be varied. It does require help from a professional medical expert such as a psychologist, psychiatrist, or sex therapist. Depending on if the addiction can be attributed to a mood or anxiety disorder, it can be helpful to be prescribed medication. However, there are no recommendations for treating sex addiction with only medication.

There is no shame for either partner to admit that sex addiction is affecting their relationship. It is a very real condition like anxiety or depression. And when things begin to get too out of control, it might be time for both partners to consider talk therapy, as well.

In couples counseling, I have worked with people who have an addiction to sex as well as the affected partner. Both can learn to overcome these challenges and find a healthy way to move forward as a couple. Let’s connect soon.