Life is calling.

Real, fully, realized life.

Do you want to answer that call?

If your heart says, “Yes!” but the past keeps you quiet, stuck, and longing for change, you need a new plan. Now.

Here’s where to start:

Phase One: Accept your past

It’s time to find the freedom you crave…(hint* it’s not back there)!

1. Decide to let it go.

People say it all the time: let it go, move on, put it behind you. If it were that easy, you would have done it already! But, before you skim down the page, please understand:

Deciding to let go is really just deciding not to relive what’s already been lived.

“Let it go,” is a decision to allow the past to be what is. Your history happened.

If you never decide to leave it behind, then it’s always with you. There is no process. There is no progress. It’s healthier to accept your past and then decide to move on.

2. Honor the growth that comes from past hurts.

It’s okay to feel upset with people and circumstances of the past. It’s natural to be upset with yourself for the mistakes you’ve made. However, whatever you’ve endured needs to be processed, expressed, and released.

Don’t get bogged down in shame or victimization.

Honor your feelings, just don’t let pain direct your next steps. That’s not where your power lies. You don’t have to stay stuck or angry, or sad. You’re a whole person, not just a hurt person.

Of course, to do all that is not automatic or easy. But it is doable.

Start by facing your own feelings, find a healthy way to express them.

Look, too, for ways the past has fleshed you out and grown you up. Take responsibility for moving forward. There’s power in taking back your control.

3. Recognize that forgiveness is too good to pass up.

You may think it’s best to just move on without forgiving or seeking forgiveness. You may think you have to agree with the past to make peace with it. But that isn’t true. No abused child agrees with the abuser. No betrayed wife agrees with an unfaithful husband. But they can go on to freer, fruitful lives. How?

Forgiveness. It is a choice to take back the power and potential of your life. To intentionally see the failings of other people and imperfect circumstances with empathy and self-compassion. Forgiveness allows you to make peace externally and keep peace internally.

Phase 2: Enjoy the Present

Your past can inform, teach, and enlighten, but refuse to let it interfere with today’s joy.

4. Choose meditation over rumination

Jump into the “here and now” by first becoming fully aware of your own thoughts, bodily sensations, and the current moment. Mindfully drink in the world. Listen, taste, hear, feel, see. The present moment is your gift. What’s it going to be: Rehash and regret? Fear and fret? Or focus in and find your joy?

5. Take care with self-care

Love yourself. That’s it. Strengthen your body with exercise, rest, and nutritious food. Support your mind with edifying self-talk and satisfying interactions. Embolden your spirit with gratifying time for journaling, artistry, worship, or long hours spent in nature.

Be well and live well.

6. Gather your People

Ignore any part of your past that condemns you to be alone.

You need people. It’s the way you’re built. Don’t fight it. Reach out. Seek support. Call your best friend or call a counselor. Allow nonjudgmental care and encouragement to spur you on.

Phase 3: Fall in Love with Life Again

The past is gone. The present is vibrant. Life is lovable again. It’s time to dream!

7. Dream authentically and bravely

Dreams aren’t built by dwelling in the past. Look at your future in light of who you really are and what you really want. Where are you headed now?

Chart a course that inspires you and set the goals that will get you there.

8. Allow generosity to expand your influence

Volunteer, write a blog or book or commit to a social or political cause. Let your past lead you to help people and to deeper, more honest connections, far away from any sense of shame or isolation.

Your story is unique. You’ve learned lessons and gained perspectives that someone else longs for. Share yourself with others and enjoy the relationships that evolve.

9. Live hope-filled and happier

Now’s the time to cultivate more optimism and leave that persistent, pessimistic voice of your past in the dust. Practice positivity. Negative expectations may be an unconscious habit connected to your past.

Intend to seek out the best in life. Learn to love the highs and lows of life again.

Make your happy happen!