You’re having drinks with your friends after work when one of them says, “You’re so great! How come you’re still single?”
Even though they may have the best of intentions, the words may really hurt. They are a reminder that singleness is still somewhat frowned upon in our society. And perhaps you have even struggled with feeling depressed over being single in the past.
“Why is there all this pressure? Can’t people understand that I’m perfectly happy with my life as it is?” you may ask yourself.
However, you shouldn’t feel depressed over being single. And if you are actually struggling with loneliness, there are things that can help.
The Social Pressure of Marriage
In many parts of the world, including Western society, there is a social celebration of marriage and relationships. You see it all the time in the media, such as celebrity weddings or wedding announcements in the local paper. Plus, there are many reality TV shows that are a little over-the-top when it comes to relationships and marriage.
All this creates a lot of pressure on you, even if you generally feel content with being single. It may cause you to feel depressed and ask yourself, “What’s wrong with me?”
The answer to that question is “nothing.” Just because you are single doesn’t mean there is anything “wrong” with you at all!
And you shouldn’t make a life-changing decision such as marriage just because you are feeling outside pressure.
Real Secret to Happiness
Harvard University has studied over two hundred male students who have graduated from the university in a 75-year study. What they learned is that meaningful relationships are what create fulfillment in one’s life.
However, these don’t have to be romantic relationships.
Indeed, having positive connections with other people through friendships and community seems to be the real secret to happiness. That’s because when you are connected to others, you don’t feel alone.
Loneliness is certainly a problem for anyone struggling with depression and can lead to the need for depression treatment. Having a strong support system, strong relationships with others, can be of tremendous help. And there are many ways to build solid relationships.
Building and Strengthening Relationships
If you are feeling depressed over being single, consider your other personal relationships in your life. Of course, there are your close friends and family. Yet, you can not only expand your existing relationships but also create new ones.
For example:
- Developing professional relationships with coworkers and others who are in the same field as you
- Volunteering with a group whose interests aligns with yours
- Participating in recreational sports, such as a softball league or soccer club
- Using online social media tools to have in-person get-togethers, such as a hiking group or photography class
What’s tragic is that you can be perfectly content with your life and, still, there will be people who shame you because you’re single. This, despite having a rich network of connections with friends, family, and others.
Depressed over Being Single? Consider Depression Treatment
It can be very hard to ignore the subtle and not-so-subtle reminders that being single is somehow different. This may cause you to feel distressed about your singleness.
Of course, romantic relationships are wonderful. However, you shouldn’t have to feel depressed over being single. Quite simply, your singleness status (or not) is nobody’s business except your own.
Remember, there are many ways to find connection and meaning that doesn’t involve being in a romantic relationship.
Yet, if you feel you are still struggling, especially with loneliness and depression, don’t hesitate to get professional treatment. It can be helpful just to talk to someone who understands how society’s expectations can have a negative impact on your well-being.
It can be tempting to try to go it alone. But, in the long run, you likely keep running into the same roadblocks. Why not contact me or read more about my approach to depression treatment here.
