One of the best things about being in a relationship is that you learn so much about who you are.
When you’re in a healthy and long-lasting relationship, the connection and bond you create with your partner is very strong. But that relationship strength doesn’t just happen overnight. Rather, it takes many experiences spread out over years that inform how you interact with each other.
And this includes how your personality types affect your interaction. (The four basic personality types are: Driver—fact-based extrovert, Analytical—fact-based introvert, Amiable—relationship introvert, and Expressive—relationship extrovert.)
Hence, what better way to understand what personality type you are than through these life experiences?
Here are five ways to know what personality type you are and how they influence your relationship with your partner.
1. Having Fun Together
Early in your relationship, when you were both dating, most likely you started out with having fun experiences together. These helped each of you to better learn and get to know one another. They also provided important information about each of your personalities.
For example, did you both meet up for drinks at a local pub, then take a stroll along the boardwalk? Or was it more goal-oriented, such as climbing a mountain or completing a century ride on a bike?
All of these things could be fun experiences, depending on who you are. And each of these activities provides insight into your personalities. For instance, one of you might be a driver who plans out the activity in detail, while the other is more an amiable personality who goes with the flow.
2. Solving Problems
Another type of life experience that sheds light on your personality is solving problems together. In your household, each of you might take on different roles when a problem arises.
For instance, let’s say that there’s a backed-up drainage pipe in the home. Does one of you take on the role of the analyst? You study the problem backward and forwards, including researching several plumbers in the area. In the end, though, you may have more difficulty to choose who to call. On the other hand, your partner, who is more of a driver, gets frustrated by this drawn-out process and takes over. They call a plumber and set up an appointment.
The problems get solved, but as you can see in this example, conflict could arise too.
3. Connecting with Other People
In any relationship, there are times when you are both connecting with other individuals and couples. Social gatherings, such as a dinner party, are a good example.
The next time you are at a party, be observant with how each of you interacts with the other guests. Is one of you more the expressive type? They like to talk with people and thrives in a social environment. Whereas, the other could be more amiable, being kind but more indifferent and not feeling as much of a need to socialize as the expressive partner.
4. Responding to Stress
Certainly stressful situations or even a crisis provide very interesting glimpses into each other’s personality type as well. This could be either positive or negative.
For example:
- A driver personality will want to solve the problem but may not take other’s perspectives into account.
- An analytical personality studies the situation and potential solutions but struggles with making a decision.
- An amiable personality type goes along with whatever others want in order to please them.
- And an expressive personality will want to create connection and understanding with everyone involved, yet they might struggle with pursuing a course of action.
5. Apologizing to One Another
An important skill in any relationship is the ability to apologize to one another. Why? Because a sincere apology conveys understanding and feeling. It encourages both partners to relate to each other and find common ground.
An amiable or expressive person might be better at apologizing than a driver type. Yet, just because you are a particular personality type doesn’t mean you don’t have the ability to show empathy and create a meaningful connection with your partner. You just go about it in different ways.
Relationship Counseling and Personality Types
Relationship strength isn’t created overnight. Instead, it’s a process of give-and-take as both you learn how each other “ticks.” By understanding each other’s personality type, you can have a better and stronger connection.
Couples counseling can help you to better understand your personality types and use that knowledge to build on your relationship strength. A therapist will be able to observe how you interact with each other. Moreover, they will listen to the stories of your life experiences together. This provides the context which they can use to identify your personality types.
You might never have realized that you had a personality type, to begin with! But now, armed with this understanding, you and your partner can forge a stronger connection together based on communication, understanding, and trust.
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If you would like to know more about how couples counseling can allow you to better understand your personality types and improve your relationship strength, please contact me or click on the link.
