Every relationship is different. No two couples will interact with each other in the same ways. Or share the same common interests. It’s what makes life so wonderful at times—knowing how different we all are from one another. However, sometimes, these differences don’t work out exactly in our favor.

We can generally say most people are in two categories of relationships—codependent or interdependent. Most people understand the word codependency as something related to addiction. Relationships can also be codependent. Codependent relationships are defined by unhealthy balances. Interdependent relationships, on the other hand, are defined by a healthy balance.

Let’s go over the differences between codependent relationships and interdependent ones.

Codependency vs. Interdependency: How to Know the Difference

Confidence In Who They Are…Or Not

In a codependent relationship, one partner will rely heavily on the other person for everything. They base their own opinions, values, or habits directly on their partner. They become so enmeshed with the other person that their own personality and life begin to mimic the other person. Or, they don’t have the confidence to be who they are and rely on the other person for their happiness.

In an interdependent relationship, each partner does not shape who they are based on the other person. While there may be shared interests or opinions, they know that it’s okay to have differences in these things.

Needs Of The Other Person

A huge sign of a codependent relationship is when the other person’s needs and wants always come first. Over time, they come to believe that their own needs are secondary to this other person. And that their happiness should always come first.

In an interdependent relationship, this does not exist because each person tries to meet the other’s needs and wants. There is a give and a take with every relationship. Balancing these things is a great sign of a healthy relationship.

Emotions

Codependent relationships will have an uneven playing field when it comes to emotions. Again, they won’t deal with their own emotions or feelings because the other person is more important. On the other side of the track, an interdependent relationship is completely different. Each partner understands that their partner’s emotions are important. But, they also acknowledge that their own feelings are important too.

Conflict

A tell-tale sign of an unhealthy relationship is that the couple may constantly argue. Most couples will argue at some point—that is not the issue. In this type of relationship, the arguing is almost daily.

Sometimes, there might be no arguing involved for longer periods of time. However, these emotions and thoughts don’t get expressed properly, causing them to build up over time. This causes an explosion of feelings and will lead to a couple arguing about everything once the conflict does actually get addressed.

In an interdependent relationship, each partner understands that the other person might not agree with them. They know how to express what they are feeling about the other person in a healthy way before it gets too out of control. And, because they are addressing issues in an honest and open way, the conflict is kept to a minimum.

How To Get Help With A Codependent Relationship

If any of these signs are present in your relationship, don’t panic. While codependency is challenging to deal with, it doesn’t mean the relationship is doomed to fail. At the end of the day, codependency is all about learned behaviors and actions. And these can always be untaught!

Let’s connect soon so you can learn more about couples counseling.