Nobody gets married thinking that it will eventually end in divorce. Unfortunately, some things in life, for whatever reason, just aren’t meant to be. Maybe you parted with your ex amicably, and nothing became messy. However, often, it isn’t as simple — especially when you have children together.

Regardless of the circumstances, life after divorce is a transition for all involved. Many emotions and thoughts are cycling through your mind regarding the past, future, and everything in between. As such, it’s no surprise that many people struggle with depression after a divorce. If you are dealing with depression after a divorce, here’s how you can begin to deal with it.

Accept Your Feelings

There are many reasons why a couple may choose to divorce. It’s important to introspect and examine your thoughts and feelings in the aftermath. Accept the many mixed emotions you are likely feeling. You may feel sad, disappointed, happy, nervous, or scared. These are all challenging feelings, especially when they happen together in such a short period.

Dealing with depression after a divorce and eventual healing can’t begin until you accept your feelings. If you are angry, own it. If you’re happy about it, own that too. Whatever is going through your mind, don’t try to push the feelings away.

photo of a woman walking across a bridgeSet New Goals

You were planning for a future with this person — setting goals together, working towards the same objectives. Now what? Suddenly, your life has been flipped upside down, and nothing seems right. Not only are you losing a person you thought you’d spend your life with, but you are dealing with the loss of something else — your future together.

This is a new beginning. It might seem very uncertain, but that’s to be expected. However, focusing on you and the goals you want out of life can also help you heal. Do you want your own house again? Does this give you the ability to move away finally?

What are your personal goals? Is it to go back to school? Switch careers? Start a new hobby? Thinking about the future, instead of seeing it as bleak, can help you move forward by trying to find things you want to accomplish. Just try not to put too much pressure on yourself to succeed. Thinking about your goals can help lift you out of the darkness and find hope and meaning in this new chapter.

Socialize

When you are with someone, you often eventually share the same circle of friends. This can be an awkward transition for everyone involved because you likely have formed close relationships with other people in your ex’s life. You may not feel comfortable reaching out to people you share with your spouse, but don’t be afraid to if there is someone you would like to talk to.

You don’t have to talk about the big elephant in the room if you don’t want to. But, during this transition period, it’s important not to isolate yourself from your social circles. If someone asks you about the divorce, and you don’t want to discuss it at that moment, don’t feel pressured. You can politely say that you would rather not talk about it right now and hope they understand. Isolating yourself during a period of depression, unfortunately, is incredibly common. However, when we feel most alone in this world, we need support from people in our lives.

Counseling

Life after a divorce can be seen as a new beginning, as frightening as it is. But that doesn’t mean you have to go through this alone. If you are struggling with depression after a divorce, don’t hesitate to reach out to learn more about depression treatment.