What was that you said in the mirror this morning?

Really? You said that about your own face and body?

Those sound like fighting words…

Who was it that bullied you with put-downs after that slip up at work today?

You? How cruel!

Bet you’d never let anyone talk to your loved ones that way…

In fact, when you think about it, is a lot of the talking you do inside your own head far from positive self-talk and feel-good affirmation?

In fact, if you are that down on yourself, you might actually be taxing your mental health and emotional well-being with something called negative self-talk.

Negative self-talk is far more insidious than an occasional internal admonishment or silent scolding. It is routine self-criticism and self-imposed disapproval. It can lead to everyday emotional tear-down without the benefit of escape.

The inner talk is a callous, harmful stream of mental battering that can become quite unconscious, unrelenting, and habitual.

However, the things you’re telling yourself are not the truth of who you are. Your fears, insecurities, misinterpretations, and unchallenged beliefs are doing all that talking in your head. They are driving your feelings and overpowering your fledgling attempts at positive self-talk and higher self-esteem.

But not for long.

Why? Because you have the power to change your mind. You’ve always had it.

You can be your own cheerleader, you can yell louder and longer than those negative thoughts. You can do flips and fly high, chanting “You can do it” until you believe it.

And soon you’ll wear that tendency toward negative self-talk down and chase it off the playing field in your head.

Grab your pompoms and megaphone:

Here’s what you’ve gotta do:

Claim your right to be here.

However you look, whatever you do or don’t do. These are your moments. This is about intention. Cheerleaders don’t hide. They face the crowd. They encourage the team. Cheerleaders put themselves out there to keep thing positive and let their adversary know that they believe in themselves. They send a message: fight hard–win or lose.

Do this for yourself. Self-advocate. Make a commitment to fighting for who you are and your right to be here.

Honestly take stock of your thoughts.

Negative self-talk tends to stem from automatic thinking. To succeed in overcoming those harmful thoughts, self-awareness is paramount. What beliefs, thoughts, and internal reactions precede your negative self-talk?

It may be a good idea to get some of those negative thoughts on paper or a computer screen in a sort of thought diary. It will help you get a good idea of what you’re working against.

The diary needn’t be complex. Simply practice noticing negative thoughts and behavior. Write them without judgment and move forward.

You may consider meditation, too, as a helpful way to increase awareness and detach yourself from negativity to gain perspective.

Examine what’s really going on.

Awareness provides an opportunity to gain insight. Positive self-talk only becomes routine reality when you can really see how your negative self-talk is steering your feelings.

Do you tend to filter experiences through a negative lens? Are you prone to personalizing and catastrophizing events? How often have you polarized a situation or relationship with a harsh black and white perspective?

Closer internal examination of your thoughts will free your mind and make a way for you to choose more positive self-talk.

Energize yourself with replacement statements.

Let’s face it. Negative self-talk comes so easy. Too easy. To change it you’ll not only need to be aware of it, you’ll need to have a replacement thought ready move into the place your negative self-talk once lived. Otherwise, it will just try to move back in.

Take time to purposefully develop some positive self-talk and counter statements.

Read your thought diary. Determine which negative thoughts are persistent and develop more edifying, compassionate replacements. Only use statements you feel are helpful and true, or you won’t use them. These statements will help rewire your brain, energize your body, effectively combatting the draining impact of negative thinking.

Relax

Change takes time. Criticizing yourself for not changing quick enough is counterproductive! Don’t obsess, just trust your improved ability to notice negativity and address one thought at a time. Then celebrate the mental victories when they happen.

Self-awareness, self-compassion, and solid support are your teammates. No one can beat you unless you let them, not even yourself.

Think well of you! Embrace your place in the world.

Go! Fight the negativity. Win!