What do you think about when you hear of depression?
Most likely you can imagine someone who is feeling sad with a dark cloud hovering over them. They feel helpless, fearful, and hopeless.
While this is not an inaccurate portrayal of depression, it does leave out one heartbreaking phenomenon of depression. It’s called smiling depression, and it can trick you into thinking that someone is OK, when in reality they are not.
What Is Smiling Depression?
Smiling depression is the condition of someone who is experiencing all of the symptoms of depression on the inside, but they still present themselves as being OK on the outside.
They go about their daily routines, such as work and school. They have friends, go out for activities, and may even seem like the life of the party. However, deep down inside they are depressed, with all of the classic hallmarks of depression.
These include:
- Negative emotions such as anxiety, fear, and hopelessness
- Problems sleeping
- Experiencing fatigue
- Irritability
Why Does Smiling Depression Occur?
The people who have smiling depression are very good at hiding their emotions from others. It’s like having the ultimate “poker face.” Nobody else knows or even detects that something is wrong.
This is because they don’t want anyone to know. In fact, they may have spent a lifetime mastering how to hide their emotions from others.
It could be the result from experiencing a past trauma or being told that showing your emotions is a bad thing. Whatever the case, it has led them to mask their true emotions from everyone, even those who are close, such as friends or a partner.
Why Would Someone Hide Their Emotions?
Put simply, because they are afraid that they will be judged for what they feel.
When you think about it, we all do this to a certain extent. It’s not like you go up to your boss at work and just blurt out your feelings. Instead, you do what you do to get through the day.
However, the difference is that you probably have someone in your life with whom you can talk. You feel emotionally safe with this person and can let your guard down.
Sadly, people who struggle with smiling depression either believe that they don’t have this resource or actually don’t have anyone with whom to talk.
How Can You Tell If Someone Has Smiling Depression?
That’s the tragic part—you can’t.
For most people, it’s very hard to tell if someone has smiling depression. You would never guess that your outgoing and apparently “happy” friend is really hurting inside.
One reason this happens is that you have grown so used to their friendly and positive behavior, you’d never even consider that they’d be experiencing anything else inside. It’s their “normal,” and anything else that deviates from that would be inconsiderable.
How Can Smiling Depression Be Treated?
Just like any form of depression, the solution for this condition is depression treatment, including counseling with a therapist who understands depression.
One benefit of talking to a therapist is that they are able to be that person with whom you can be vulnerable and discuss your struggle. In fact, part of a therapists’ job is to provide an emotionally safe place for their clients to be open and discuss freely what’s bothering them.
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Clearly, smiling depression is no joke. Yet, it is also very hard to maintain the facade. It requires someone to be “on” all the time, ensuring that nobody realizes the truth.
If you suspect that a person in your life (or yourself) is struggling with smiling depression, don’t hesitate to seek out depression treatment.
Learn more about my approach to depression treatment HERE.
