“The secret to permanently breaking any bad habit is to love something greater than the habit.” -Bryant McGill, author and motivational speaker

The habits and routine behavior of your relationship matter.

Bad habits have no good place in your good relationship.

You love your partner. You want to love better. You want to be closer, happier, stronger.

All that stands in your way is the period of time you’ll need to break the bad habits in your relationship and turn things around.

It’s time for a change. You can improve and deepen your love.

The first step is identifying which habits to break. These five bad habits are a good place to start:

Relationship Bad Habit to Break #1. Playing hard to get, hard to reach, hard to touch, or hard to talk to.

Basically, it’s not a good idea to be hard at all. It doesn’t foster much goodwill in any relationship. Instead, be your partner’s soft place to land. Do your best to stay soft-hearted and compassionate towards each other.

Be the one person he or she can count on to soften the blow of a hard day or tough times. Initiate closeness, kindnesses, and friendship. After all, isn’t that part of the allure of an emotionally and physically connected relationship…having someone who loves and accepts you unconditionally and takes care of your heart along the way?

Relationship Bad Habit to Break #2. Attempting to ignore issues, procrastinate problems, or bury the big stuff.

Cooperate to recuperate and restore relationship balance when feelings are hurt, disagreements arise, or conflicts persist. Don’t let differences of opinion turn into passive aggression, power plays, or simmering resentment. Bad habits like these lead to contempt and distrust. Your relationship may not recover.

Give each other the benefit of the doubt and refrain from jumping to conclusions, yet also give each other the floor to share concerns truthfully, without fear of losing any measure of respect or love.

Make facing problems honestly and habitually a relationship must. If you don’t know how, working with a couple’s counselor can give you the gift of conflict-resolving communication tools that will serve you for a lifetime and keep you connected, even when you don’t like each other much.

Relationship Bad Habit to Break #3. Forgetting the fun, fantasy, or affection.

Did you ever say to yourself: “One day I want to be in a completely boring, stale, distant relationship, completely devoid of interest, adventure, and imagination?”

No? Right…so why are you spending perfectly good date nights, romantic weekends, and vacation days on the couch, surfing the net or playing games on your smartphones?

Be the fun couple you’re meant to be! Do the things you love doing together. Sign up for a few new experiences. Make more love with a few new tricks. Get out and make people jealous of your connection. Above all, maintain a sense of humor. Laughter and a few shared smiles during the day can cover a multitude of relationship missteps.

Relationship Bad Habit to Break #4. Failing to appreciate, reciprocate, and celebrate.

A relationship is mutual. When things feel unbalanced, unhappiness ensues. The idea is for both parties to feel like a valued contributor to something lasting and loving.

Refrain from bad habits in your relationship that make your partner feel taken for granted, no matter how solid or stable your connection seems. “Thank you” goes a long way in every relationship. Look for ways to be generous and helpful. Resist the urge to keep score or make demands. When you keep the balance of power fair and your heart geared toward loving-kindness, you prevent the sense that either of you are being taken advantage of.

Celebrate each other privately and publicly too. Never run down your partner to others. Champion your partner and the things that matter to him or her. Be proud to be seen together and known as a couple.

Relationship Bad Habit to Break #5. Allowing lopsided loyalties to ruin your good thing.

To keep your relationship strong, you’ve got to put the time in. That’s the truth.

Your relationship needs you to turn off the glowing screens. Put the kids to bed. Make your boss, emails, and obligations wait.

All for the sake of your love. It’s worth it.

Your partner deserves your time and first dibs on your attention and consideration. You won’t always be able to drop everything for each other. But you can still check in, snuggle up, schedule moments, and lock eyes often enough to make sure you both know your priorities lie with each other, first and foremost.

Now, if you feel your bad relationship habits are really upsetting something special, don’t wait too long to break them. Half the battle is awareness; the other half is figuring out how to change. Try these tips, but if you’re still stuck, try the help of professional couple’s counselor. Working on your relationship together will strengthen your bond and help you break bad habits for good.