It’s never easy knowing that someone you care for is suffering because of their mental health. Whether that is your spouse, family member, or child — you want to be able to help them.

The problem is, finding the right words to say can make you feel like not saying anything at all. You don’t want to hurt them or make everything feel worse for them. And you also don’t want to be too intrusive into their personal life. After all, some people don’t want to talk about their feelings or thoughts.

Depression is definitely one of the tougher subjects to talk to someone about. Whether that is about your own struggle or someone else’s, however, there are small ways you can help someone with their depression. Here are a few suggestions.

1. Let Them Know You Are There

Nobody likes to feel as if they are being pushed to talk about something. For most people, when they are ready to open up about a struggle, they will. On the opposing side, you don’t want them to think you don’t care by not checking in with them periodically.

You don’t have to get crazy with the check-ins because that would probably annoy just about anyone. However, you can start this conversation with them in a few different ways.

Offer things like, “I just wanted you to know that I am here for you no matter what. If you need someone to talk to, or vent to, or just need a distraction, don’t hesitate to reach out to me, and I’ll be there.”

This does a few things. One, it establishes that you are always there for them and will be a shoulder for them to lean on during their time of need.

Two, it will lessen the idea in their head that they are a burden to anyone.  This, more than anything, is often a lot of the reason why people with depression don’t feel comfortable talking about their issues. They always feel as if they are bothering someone.

2. Help Find Ways To Uplift Them

Maybe they don’t feel like talking about anything serious. That’s okay, too. Don’t be afraid to reach out to them just to hang out. Go for a walk in the park, see a movie together, or have a night in.

Talking about the deeper issues in life is important, but that isn’t the only way to show we care for one another. It’s through the small things in life, like bonding time and conversation about the latest plot twist, that can really help lift someone’s mood.

Over time, these smaller types of connection will help them also see that you aren’t just being nice to them to be nice. You truly value their place in your life and care for their company.

You can take this next suggestion with a grain of salt. But ask them for advice about things you have going on in your own life. Anxious about a big work meeting you have coming up? Need to vent about your children or spouse? Don’t go overboard with it, but focusing the attention on you for a while might be what they need to get themselves out of their own head.

3. Encourage Them To Seek Support

Therapy is becoming a tool that many people are realizing the importance of. If you have noticed your friend or family member struggling, gently remind them that it’s okay not to be okay. There is no shame in admitting their mental health isn’t where it should be.

Encourage them to talk to a licensed professional. They might get upset or be put off by the idea, but once you plant that seed, it will more than likely be an idea that they come around to. Reach out to me to learn more about depression treatment.