If your partner is depressed, then you know that this affects more than just them.

Your whole relationship has been touched, in some way, by their depression. Maybe it’s those days when they struggle to have any energy to even get out of bed. Or they withdraw from any kind of emotional closeness that you both once enjoyed so much.

However, you still love your partner, of course. And you want to do your best when offering support. So, how do you make sure you offer it the right way?

Here then are some dos and don’ts for how you can work towards addressing depression as a couple together.

Do Offer Your Support to Your Partner

It’s important for your partner to know that you support them and love them. Oftentimes, people who are stuck in depression don’t know how to ask for support. Nor do they even know what that support should look like.

However, what’s important is that they understand they are not alone. There is at least someone in their life who knows they are struggling and wants to help. You may have to remind your partner of this fact repeatedly, especially when they are struggling with particularly depression symptoms.

Don’t Judge Your Partner

Although at times it’s tempting, avoid passing judgment on your partner. This only serves to drive a wedge between the two of you and doesn’t help either your partner or the relationship.

However, let’s be real. We’re not perfect, and it will be difficult at times not to want to judge them. What’s important to remember is that their actions are symptoms of depression and not their true selves. This can really help with addressing depression as a couple.

Do Listen and Communicate

Communication is always important for a relationship. However, it’s especially critical when you try to address depression as a couple. So, what’s the first step?

You may want to ask yourself, for example:

  • What caused your partner’s depression?
  • How do your partner’s depression symptoms manifest themselves?
  • Which is the best way to cope?

One thing to keep in mind is not just verbal communication. Be observant of the nonverbal communication that your partner displays. This varies from person-to-person, of course. But you know your partner best, so you will probably be able to pick up on the signals that they are having a down day, even before they do.

Don’t Ignore Support for Yourself

Yes, you are offering support to your partner during this difficult time. But a caregiver needs support for themselves too. This support can come in the form of spending time with friends outside of the house. Or perhaps you go for a run to clear your head and get some exercise.

Taking care of yourself is necessary in order to best help your partner. Otherwise, you will “drain your batteries,” so-to-speak, and have little or no energy left over. When you reach that level, it’s going to be very hard aiding your partner, let alone addressing depression as a couple.

Remember, taking time for yourself and getting support (both through friends and family, as well as with the help of professionals) is vital for this to work.

Do Pay Attention to the Danger Signs

As part of addressing depression as a couple, there may be a time when you do have to intervene—most particularly when your partner’s behavior puts them in imminent danger of harming themselves.

For example, drinking while driving would be a behavior that is unsafe and should not be tolerated by you. Another is if you suspect your partner is at risk of suicide. If you believe that your partner is in imminent danger, call 911 for assistance. You can also call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline for additional resources. Their number is 1-800-273-8255 and is available 24 hours a day every day.

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Addressing depression as a couple may be one of the most challenging hurdles you ever dealt with in your relationship. Willingly offering support will go a long way towards your partner getting the help they need during this difficult time.

Moreover, encourage your partner to seek out depression treatment and don’t hesitate to get professional help for yourself as well. I’d be happy to discuss options with you. Please, feel free to contact me.