One of the hardest things about depression is that you often experience feelings of worthlessness.
Worthlessness is very hard to deal with because you feel so devoid of any value whatsoever. It causes you to question everything about yourself. The result is that you paint yourself into a corner with beliefs that you are incapable of doing anything.
Of course, worthlessness feeds back into your depression as well.
However, there are things that you can do to push back against worthlessness. If you are struggling with depression and feeling worthless and want to boost your self-esteem, consider these four ideas.
1. Give Yourself Affirmations… the Right Way
Dr. Guy Winch, a psychologist and TED speaker, recommends that there is a better way for using positive affirmations to boost self-esteem. You see, the problem with giving yourself an affirmation when depressed is that you often don’t believe them. Depression causes you to feel so worthless that vague affirmations such as “I’ve got this” simply fall flat.
Thus, to counter this narrative, Winch suggests framing your affirmations in a way that you will truly believe what you are telling yourself. For example, instead of saying “I’ve got this,” you could say, “I will do the best that I can for this situation.”
2. Avoid Comparing Yourself to Others
Another way to boost your self-esteem is to avoid comparing yourself to other people. Comparing yourself to others is a common narrative with those who suffer from depression and feeling worthless.
An example might be if you go to the gym to work out. You see everyone else performing really well at their exercise machines or lifting very heavy weights. Immediately you start comparing yourself to their performance. You say to yourself, “I will never be able to do that.” In fact, you may get so discouraged that you turn around and walk right out of the building!
This might sound dramatic, but the concept applies to many other situations, including depression.
3. Focus on What’s in Your Control
Continuing with the exercise example… while you don’t want to compare yourself to others, you also know that exercise is good for those who are struggling with depression. If going to the gym doesn’t sound appealing, consider what is in your control to still include exercise in your life.
For instance:
- Working out at the gym during the least-busiest hours
- Going for a run in your neighborhood
- Investing in a treadmill, elliptical machine, or rowing machine to use in the privacy of your home
- Taking a hike on the weekend
Focusing on what’s in your control requires that you use problem-solving skills to find a solution. It’s a great skill that is useful for overcoming obstacles to your self-esteem as well as in other areas of your life.
4. Learn How to Let Go of Resentment
A big part of depression and feeling worthless is resentment. Why? Because it’s easier to blame others for negative things in your life. That doesn’t mean that, in certain situations, the actions of others won’t have an effect on your life. They certainly can.
However, holding on to resentments about what happened in the past isn’t very helpful or healthy. For instance, at work you had a supervisor with whom you couldn’t connect and get on the same page. It always felt like they had an ax to grind with you. This made your work life stressful, and only added to your depression and feeling worthless.
Instead of holding on to ill feelings, a healthier way to cope is to learn from that experience while also letting go of resentment.
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Depression and feeling worthless do really go hand-in-hand. They contribute to your belief that you have no value and cannot effectively create change in your life. However, it doesn’t have to be this way. By taking some simple steps, you can boost your self-esteem and let go of unhealthy beliefs.
If you would like to know how my approach to depression treatment can help with resolving your feelings of worthlessness, please contact me.
